I've got my trumpet ready

I never liked the sound of bagpipes. So miserable and whiney. I was intrigued by the news that a "man with a Scottish accent and wearing Hibernian Football Club shorts took [his bagpipes] out of his car and knelt down to play loudly in the faces of the [Insulate Britain] protesters. According to telegraph.co.uk 'He said: “They are holding up ambulances, fire trucks. Disgraceful. You're damaging your cause. What I was doing, obnoxiously, bagpiping in your face, is what you're doing to all this traffic - you're obnoxiously holding up people's lives."'

Rumours that the man was Alistair Campbell were denied by friends of the New Labour spin doctor who said "Alistair would never kneel to anyone".

The protesters were blocking the A40 but started their campaign by doing so on and around the M25. Which is why, when I next go to Kent, I shall be taking my trumpet with me. I reckon I can make more frightening noise than a bagpiper although, given it will be more pleasant, I might just gain a rapt audience.

I felt I should at least find out what Insulate Britain's aims are. They have two simple "demands":

1. That the UK government immediately promises to fully fund and take responsibility for the insulation of all social housing in Britain by 2025;

2. That the UK government immediately promises to produce within four months a legally binding national plan to fully fund and take responsibility for the full low-energy and low-carbon whole-house retrofit, with no externalised costs, of all homes in Britain by 2030 as part of a just transition to full decarbonisation of all parts of society and the economy.

On the face of it these seem entirely reasonable. IB's analysis is robust:

The UK has some 29 million homes and they are the oldest and least energy efficient housing stock in Europe. Every year vast amounts of precious energy are wasted in heating and, increasingly, cooling our buildings. 

In order to meet UK commitments under the Paris Agreement to stay below 1.5C, and legal obligations under the Climate Change Act 2008, as amended in 2019, emissions from heating and powering homes must be reduced by 78% in less than 15 years and then to zero by 2050. 

Nearly 15% of the UK’s total emissions comes from heating homes: an overhaul of the energy performance of the UK’s housing stock is needed to reduce the energy demand.

So is the government not interested in this issue? I guess it's the sheer scale and cost of it. The Green Homes Grant scheme was discontinued after just six months but there are still home energy grants such as the Warm Home Discount but this is applied as a rebate to your electricity bills - unless, of course, your supplier has recently gone bust. Reasonably, the discount prioritises vulnerable people and others in need. I think the government is committed to home insulation as one of the means of moving towards carbon neutrality, but there is a vast space between the government's fiscal means, its pace of change and Insulate Britain's "do it sooner" demands.

As with many protest movements, the drastic tactics of Insulate Britain - an offshoot of Extinction Rebellion - are designed to draw attention to the cause (surely a worthy one) at the risk of alienating the public opinion that is eventually necessary to give the government a shot in the arm. Guerrilla tactics are no substitute for a mass movement; indeed, they may hinder that very swelling of public opinion that should be the ultimate goal.

Early next month I'll probably be in my (diesel😠 sorry IB!) car on the M25. If I meet them, I'll get my trumpet out and attempt a deal with the protesters: "I'll play you the whole of the Trumpet Voluntary if you let me (oh and maybe my fellow drivers) go on our merry way".

Think it'll work?

Aisle 26

Aisle 26 sounds like a movie title; think District 9, Super 8. But no, it's the answer to a quiz question I posed today to an Asda employee: "where can I find tofu?"

My lunch today was a feta, tomato, pecan, tofu and olives salad, with a sprinkling of Greek Extra Virgin Olive Oil. It's an interesting mix of quite strong flavours, of which the tofu is probably the most piquant. Surprisingly the pecans almost disappeared in terms of flavour, which was a disappointment. I created this concoction after, concerned that I couldn't get my weight back to normal after lockdown gains, I researched foods which were healthy and low carbohydrate.

I discovered that nuts are good sources of "good carbs" (net carbs = carbs minus fiber) and walnuts and pecans particularly so. Tofu is low in calories but high in protein and fat (presumably "good" fat). Feta is lower in calories than most cheeses. Olives are one of the staple components of Mediterranean diets. Olive oil has zero carbs. Followed by some raspberries and strawbs (low carbs, high fiber, containing antioxidants) and a glass of water.

I'm not fetishing, just trying some hopefully healthy options. Better than a bacon sarnie and a beer though.

To be honest, I find the texture of tofu takes some getting used to. We'll see about that.

70,000

My co-blogger and co-grandparent MiceElf recently completed 70,000 'steps' and has so far raised over £300 for Greenwich Mencap.

I don't know what a 'step' is, and I do not have a smart watch, stepping app or FritBrit [I know that's not accurate; I just think it sounds like all you anti-Brexiteers out there] so I have no idea how much of an achievement this is. Is it just one stroll around the garden, a hike from Greenwich to Hastings or 1,000 walks from my car to/from the store entrance in the Asda car park?

Greenwich Mencap provides "care, advice and support to people with learning disabilities, learning difficulties and autism and their families". Their Riverwood Project helps Adults with Learning Disabilities (AWLD) through therapeutic work: "Using recycled wood, our members create hand-made furniture and craft items which are sold to the public to help fund the project. By teaching skills and promoting teamwork within a positive environment, we aim to help our members develop social skills, experience independence and feel a sense of value and purpose."

I believe MiceElf's fundraising is still open and you can donate at https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-display/showROFundraiserPage?userUrl=JaneLawson13&pageUrl=1

Apologise for this?

Quinton de Kock is a South African cricketer. He is in the country's squad for the T20 World Cup, currently being held in that great cricketing country the United Arab Emirates. Due to play the West Indies on Tuesday, he withdrew from the team because of an instruction from Cricket South Africa that the whole team must Take A Knee before the match.

De Kock explained "I am not a racist and I do not feel the need to prove that with a gesture. When you are told what to do with no discussion, I felt like it takes away the meaning. I come from a mixed-race family. My half-sisters are coloured and my stepmom is black. For me, black lives have mattered since I was born. Not just because there was a movement."

I have always felt uncomfortable about this aspect of Taking A Knee. If it becomes - or has become - a mere gesture, and individual players are culturally coerced into conforming, the action itself comes close to being a racist one. I understand South Africa's recent history and its special sensitivities about any suggestion of racism but they should understand that forcing a player to doing something which he is not comfortable with is no different to some regrettable aspects of the nation's recent past.

De Kock continued "I am deeply sorry for all the hurt, confusion and anger that I have caused [really? HE has caused?]. I was quiet on this very important issue until now." He has decided he will now conform to the team's wishes and Take The Knee before matches.

I don't believe you have anything to apologise for, Quinton de Kock.

This is not a library!

Standing in my way in Asda, about to buy my newspaper: man completely absorbed in reading the Daily Express. What? You think this is a library? Get your money out and pay for it! Stop spreading your germs all over an item someone else will shortly be buying. In fact, have you been reading my Times?

What I actually said was a polite "excuse me", although there was a bit of a nudge involved, I confess.

Selfish man. Passive me.

Defeated, Fallen and Succeeded

A really good Netflix series: The Defeated. Set in Berlin in the immediate aftermath of World War II, it provides an evocative portrayal of a city struggling to cope with a desperate lack of law and order. The city has four sectors, one each controlled by the occupying powers: America, Britain, France and the Soviet Union. A New York detective has volunteered to work with the police force in the American sector as an adviser, although he has a personal mission: to find his brother, an American soldier who went missing in the last days of the war.

Detective Max teams up with Elsie, the German police Superintendent and they come across a mysterious man called the Angel Maker, who recruits young girls to elicit information from the occupying soldiers in whatever way works, and passes this intelligence to whoever pays best. This organisation appears to be responsible for the murder of two US soldiers and so the hunt becomes intense. Elsie also has a private mission: to find her husband, a German soldier who has been captured by the Soviets.

The plot is convoluted; it turns out Max's brother Moritz, traumatised by his experience of liberating one of the Nazi concentration camps, is on a personal mission to torture and kill as many high level Nazis as he can. I'm not going to spoil any further; there are 8 episodes and a second season is in the pipeline, delayed by the pandemic. It's really well produced and has no flaws, to my mind.

The same cannot be said of another Netflix series, The Fall. It's a psychological thriller in three seasons of 5, 6 and 6 episodes, set in Belfast and originally aired on the BBC and RTE in 2013-2016. A Detective Superintendent from the Metropolitan Police is seconded to the Police Service of Northern Ireland to review the progress of an ongoing murder investigation. It becomes apparent that there are other, similar cases and it metamorphoses into a hunt for a serial killer with a penchant for particularly perverted attacks.

The first problem encountered is that we are told very early in season 1 who the murderer is and the narrative then morphs from a standard police procedural into an examination of the psychology of the killer, with long, slow close-ups of anguished faces. This is balanced by the frankly odd lifestyle and rogue methodology of the lead detective and she is subjected to a similar pseudo psychological examination by camera and sound track. The result is that the plot moves along slowly - and frustratingly, given that we have knowledge the police don't. The worst part is that, in order to keep us interested, a number of sub-plots are inserted and some of these - the killer's 15 year old babysitter and the detective's recruitment of young, attractive male colleagues onto the team for her own pleasure - are superfluous and unpleasantly voyeuristic. There is a definite undertone of misandry in the treatment.

By the end of season 2 and continuing into the (hopefully) final season, the plot has run out of steam and improbable twists occur. There is so little narrative left that there are long, tedious psychiatric sessions with facial close-ups, a nurse who looks very much like one of the victims and who cares, in a way lovingly it is teasingly suggested, for the killer in hospital and almost nothing happens. I suppose psychological dramas are supposed to be uncomfortable for the viewer but, for my taste, this tries too hard.

Finally, and much more satisfyingly, to season 3 of Succession. A superior family soap opera based in corporate America, the cast largely speaks management gibberish very fast but somehow it's fun. There is literally not one character with whom I can in any way empathise. I hate them all but not necessarily equally; that changes by the minute with the show's fast moving direction. There's a plot of sorts but it's all about the characters, which are well drawn and well acted. catch it on Sky Atlantic.

Seasalter beach

This unassuming little flower is Sea Mayweed, its scientific name is Tripleurospermum maritimum, which is a very long name for a common plant.  I prefer the Icelandic name which is Baldur’s eyelashes. It generally flowers between May and September but possibly as a consequence of climate change it’s still flourishing at the end of October.   It’s a tough plant being able to withstand sea salt and rough winds (there was a force 7 westerly blowing today) and it’s happiest in poor sandy soil. 

So, where did I find it? On the beach at Seasalter appropriately.  

The Mayweeds on the Common in Woolwich disappeared at the end of June.  Clearly, soft city types in comparison with their coastal cousins. 

 

Tickled Pink

When I pay at the Asda checkout I am invited to add a small amount to the payment for their Tickled Pink charitable cause. It can be as little as 10p or as much as £1. I choose 25p as a matter of course; it's a round number. Well it isn't really; actually a square number.

I'm not actually sure that Tickled Pink is a charity; more a programme which supports and partners with breast cancer charities Breast Cancer Now and CoppaFeel! Asda has been doing this since 1996 but the checkout option is a new initiative I think. I imagine it's a really effective one, done to celebrate Tickled Pink's 25th anniversary; they have raised more than £71 million in that time.

Is this a lazy, unfocused way of giving? It's not as if I am making a choice to adopt this particular charitable cause. It's the only charity available in this particular way but it's not one that would really have been at the forefront of my mind if I were to decide to give £15 a month. I guess there will be lots of people like me making a donation because someone has had the clever idea to add it to the checkout screen.

This Friday, 22 October is Wear It Pink Day. The only pink item I have is a pair of garish pink trousers. I've got them out ready for Friday.

Happy Birthday to my co-blogger

MiceElf is 21 today. Again. 21 with grandkids; good going.

Norrie un-personed by the media

Remember all the hype about Emma Raducanu? Won the US Open tennis as a qualifier and spent the next few weeks doing PR, glamour shots for the front pages and generally swanning around and luxuriating in her astonishing victory. Sacked her coach. First match back on court, a bad first round defeat at Indian Wells to a lower ranked player. Currently ranked 24th in the world.

Cameron Norrie: British male tennis player, won the Men's Singles in that same Indian Wells event. The first British man to win a Masters 1,000 singles title since Andy Murray in 2016. No need for qualification for Norrie - he has reached six tournament finals this year and is now ranked 15th in the world. No swanning around for him, he is studying for a sociology degree in his off-court time. No PR, no glamour shots, no front pages, just working hard preparing  for the next tournament.

Just saying.

Just found it

 So, first thoughts on being invited to be a guest on the distinguished Just Chilling’s blog: 

It’s taken a lot of effort to find out how.  Perhaps that’s because the font is so small or perhaps because I’m IT challenged and am struggling to achieve Level 4 - levelling up is a flawed concept.clearly. 

Secondly, I see my avatar is the church cat.  She’s called Suki and is temperamental, unlike my own dear Coco. But when I had to post on Google for some reason now forgotten, Coco was not yet born and Suki was a beauty. 

And the last thought was that it’s much easier to comment on someone else’s thoughts than produce ones of my own.

However, all that football needs an antidote, even if my host is as antipathetic to wild flowers as I am to football.

 ‘One day’ I promised MiceElf I’ll make an effort and learn to identify the wild flowers in my local area.  And when lockdown arrived it proved be the catalyst. My son and DiL bought me two definitive reference books and on Christmas morning 2020 we set out for Woolwich Common. It was cold but the watery sun made the mist rise and the Common looked lovely. We were the only people there.  I found two flowers: the first was a solitary knapweed down amongst the nettles and brambles, its deep cerise flower being the only spot of colour in the 150 acres, and the other was a single white blossom on the bare branches of a cherry plum.  It took me the best part of an hour to work out the keys and discover their names.

Since then I’ve found 163 plants which I post on the Friends FB page and acquired an undeserved reputation for botanical knowledge. I suspect I’ve also damaged the knees of a certain chilled gentleman for which I sincerely apologise. 

The Wizard of Noz

New Zealand has an official Wizard. Until yesterday, when Ian Brackenbury Channell was given the sack by the city of Christchurch. 

You can understand NZ's desire to embrace wizardry; after all, their Australian neighbours have their very own Wizard - of Oz. In 1990, Prime Minister Mike Moore proclaimed Channell the Official Wizard of New Zealand, appointed to “protect the Government, cast out evil spirits and upset fanatics”. In other words, New Zealand's Alistair Campbell.

Channell describes himself as an "educator, comedian, illusionist and politician", although he basically travels the country casting spells and mixing potions. He must have cast a spell on the Christchurch city councillors, who decided to pay him $16,000 p.a. to "provide acts of wizardry and other wizard-like-services – as part of promotional work for the city of Christchurch".

Rod Liddle, that unreconstructed anti-wokeist and Sunday Times columnist, writes today that Chiristchurch's act has "aroused fury among occultists" although given Channell is 88 years old it could just as easily be his fellow octogenarians who are up in arms. One man who will surely be delighted is Ari Freeman, who is the Wizard's Apprentice and, with a bit of corporate smooching, could take over this lucrative contract. Freeman is known around Christchurch and beyond as the front man of the psychedelic funk band Rhomboid. Despite all this weirdness, their stuff has a certain magical [gettit?] charm:

I could find no record of any other country or city having a wizard on the payroll, although the Ku Klux Klan has its Grand Wizard. I'm willing to provide wizard services for St Austell, for a small fee of course.

Go Ahead Eagles

Regular readers will know I am fascinated by football club names. See my earlier post about the Stuttgarter Kickers. The Go Ahead Eagles are a club in the Eredivisie - the Netherlands First Division. They gained promotion last season by finishing second in the Eerste Divisie (First Division, which is what the second tier competition is called - don't ask). They last won the Eredivisie in 1933, so it's time to Go Ahead again.

Proper football fans, i.e. all our readers, will be interested to know that the Go Ahead Eagles were the first club of renowned player Marc Overmars, winner of 86 caps for the Netherlands. Marc came out of a 'retirement' in 2008, after leaving Barcelona in 2004, to give some glamour to his home town club for a year at the age of 35, making 24 appearances for them in the Eerste Divisie. I always find it heartwarming that there is still romance in football.

The club is from the city of Deventer, population 100,000; the eagle is in the coat of arms of Deventer

Hence Eagles in the club's name. The club was founded as Be Quick in 1902 but had to change its name because the players were not quick enough there was already a Go Ahead club. As for the name, dutch.news.nl tells us "The Dutch, as we know, are a sensible folk. But not when it comes to naming their football clubs. In most countries football clubs have really boring names like Manchester United, Barcelona or Paris Saint Germain. But not so in the Netherlands. Here, names are descriptive."

I guess that's some kind of answer and at least it give the fans - average attendance 6,500 - a reasonable chant. And ... I have a song for them:

1, 2, 3, GO!

Go ahead now! See the mail order

Go ahead now! Cooling off the paper

Fall in, fall out, Fall in, Fall out

Go ahead now! Check your speedmeter

Go ahead now! Refrigerator

Fall in, fall out, Fall in, Fall out

Take a big mess, take a little rest

Take your reflex, spoil your test

We're pinheads! Here we go now!

Go for it! Let'em make a phone call

Go for it! Let'em get a own goal

Fall in, Fall out Fall in, fall out

Go for it! Let'em dig a big hole

Go for it! Let the good times roll

Fall in, Fall out Fall in, fall out

Let's go!

Take a big mess, Take a little rest

Take your reflex, Spoil your test

We're pinheads! Here we go now!

Let'em scoot, Let'em go!

Go ahead now! Go for it!

Go ahead now! Go for it!

Fall in, Fall out

Here we go ahead now now now now!

Take a big mess, Take a little rest

Take your reflex, Spoil your test

We're pinheads! Here we go now!

Take a big mess, Take a little rest

Take your reflex, Spoil your test

We're pinheads! Here we go now!

The song is by Polysics, a Japanese new wave and rock band from Tokyo, who dubs its unique style as "technicolor pogo punk". It was named after a brand of synthesizer, the Korg Polysix. [according to Wikipedia]. This is it:

Obviously a bit tricky for the fans to sing, but a great "entering the field" booster.

You'll be pleased to know they are Going Ahead reasonably well so far this season. And - at the time of writing - they have just gone ahead in their latest match.

15,215 days to the end of oil

1,459,013,978,422 barrels of oil left when I started this post. 1,459,013,757,364 barrels left when I finished.

15,215 days is 42 years. And a few days. What then?

Coal has longer to go: 148,329 days

Apparently 1,748,707,614,456 Megawatts of solar energy struck the earth so far today. Grab a bit of that and we'll be fine.

Yep, I'm back on worldometers.info and browsing aimlessly.

At the start of this post, China's population was 1,439,323,776. According to https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/population-by-country/. There's a guy out there counting. Here comes another... Surprisingly, the Chinese rate of growth is declining; 20 million extra in 1990, 13 million in 1995, 8 million in 2005, just 5.5 million in 2020. The fertility rate (the number of children a woman has on average) was 6.3 in 1970 and is now 1.69. 1.7 is generally regarded as the benchmark for a stable population size.

Where are they now?

I referred to the planet Zog in an earlier post. That made me think about King Zog of Albania, of whom I was aware as a child. He died in exile in France in 1961. European countries have been ambivalent about having exiled monarchs in their territories; Zog fled Albania in 1939 and went first to Greece then Turkey. Onwards via difficult wartime routes ending up in France. When Germany invaded he fled to England, where he lived for five years before going to Egypt then settling in France.

Poor chap, you think. But he took with him a huge chunk of the Albanian treasury's cash, so maybe not so poor.

So we know where he is now. Probably not in Heaven.

If memory serves me correctly, we Brits have a penchant for hosting failed foreign leaders, especially those having connections with our royal family, i.e. pretty much all of the world's monarchs and ex monarchs. So I thought I would investigate whether there are still any of these lovely people living in our welcoming country.

I know, you are imagining your intrepid investigator traipsing through the streets of Chelsea, Mayfair and the like, knocking on doors and asking is "King xxxxx in residence?". In normal times this would undoubtedly have happened but I feared that turning up wearing a mask might evoke a less than pacifist response, so instead I turned to Mr Google for help.

I started with King Constantine of Greece, because I remember him. He fled a military coup in 1973. Lived in Hampstead until 2013, when he returned to Greece. First cousin once removed of the Duke of Edinburgh. Second cousin of the Prince of Wales (and presumably his brothers and sister; who cares?), second cousin once removed to Prince William (and presumably to that one who lives in California and various others of that generation|). So, connected. He and his wide live in Porto Cheli in the Peloponnese, a nice resort with access to a private airport. It's a hard life being an ex-King.

Mir Suleman Dawood Jan is the 35th Khan of Kalat. Kalat is in Balochistan in Pakistan. This chap is currently living in Cardiff, allegedly in a three bedroom semi. Far away from the glitz of the Ritz [Ed: are you writing poetry now Nigel?]. Perhaps because he has no known connection to Her Maj. "Sure you can come live here but it will have to be in Wales. Don't worry, they have people there; you could join a male voice choir if you are bored."

Do you like the new layout? Let me know

The Cull of 57

I have 57 blog posts in draft form. Many of them months old. The earliest was "Jazz stuff" in July 2020. Just a title. I'm good at titles; less so on sustainable content.

Time to start a cull. "Jazz stuff" has run its course. Gone. 56 to go.

"Another brick in the Wall" - shortly after "Jazz stuff". Again a title only. Gone. Heaven knows what I had in mind.

"Useful names" - some content about a footballer's children's names. August 2020. Gone.

"Confusing names" - about a female character called Michael in a Star Trek episode. No longer culturally acceptable. Don't tell on me. Gone.

"Riffs" - most of my posts are riffs, so no longer necessary. Gone.

"Excuse me? - maybe about some modern language idioms. Gone.

"Heroes and cheats" - about footballers such as Terry Butcher (hero) and as yet unnamed cheats (maybe most footballers). Would lose half my audience. Gone.

Finally - for the moment - two which I plan to revisit:

"A new pope, two popes and odd popes" - about two excellent TV series.

"Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch" - the miniature railway; contains a nice picture.

50 left. More in due course. I'm currently busy reading Dickens, Dickens (Claire Tomalin) and Dickens (Thomas Keneally).

Platform 9

It has been claimed that Boudica is buried beneath platform 9 of King's Cross Station. Some say 8, others 10, JK Rowling probably 9¾. According to londonist.com "This idea began with John Bagford and a dead elephant. The elephant was discovered near a flint axe head in a gravel pit at the top of Gray’s Inn Road. In 1715, Bagford published a suggestion that the elephant has been brought over by the Romans, and that the flint was a spearhead of a British warrior who fought them." Whatever.

Anyway, I was introduced to Boudica - Boadicea as we knew her then - as a child hooked on I-Spy books. I guess they are called i-spy now. Away on our summer holidays? Get out I-Spy At The Seaside. A day at the zoo? I-Spy At The Zoo: Birds And Reptiles. Outside our house? I-Spy In The Street.

A trip to the smoke? I-Spy The Sights Of London. And there on the Embankment (and on page 15) is the glorious statue of Boudica/Boadicea and her daughters.

In the first century AD, Boudica led an uprising against the Romans. She was the queen of the Iceni, a Brittonic tribe from East Anglia (the trains from Cambridge come into King's Cross on platform 10 BTW) and they joined with the Celtic Britons and others to attempt to throw off the yoke of the invaders. According to Mr Wiki:

An estimated 70,000–80,000 Romans and Britons were killed in the three cities by those following Boudica, many by torture. Suetonius, meanwhile, regrouped his forces, possibly in the West Midlands; despite being heavily outnumbered, he decisively defeated the Britons. The crisis caused Nero to consider withdrawing all Roman forces from Britain, but Suetonius's victory over Boudica confirmed Roman control of the province. Boudica then either killed herself to avoid capture (according to Tacitus) or died of illness (according to Cassius Dio).

Don't mention the torture, or that statue may not have long ..............

The Lights are On

You'll remember the collapse of my electricity supplier, Utility Point. I am supposedly in the semi-automated process of transferring back to the regulator-selected supplier of last resort, EDF. Which possibly stands for Electricitique de la France, it being French-owned. After an initial flurry of emails from the two companies, silence. Or, as we say in France

I have no idea who is receiving my monthly direct debit and no idea, at the moment, where my electricity comes from. I have ceased to care, as long as The Lights Are On.

According to the BBC "Two more firms collapsed on Wednesday, but EDF's Philippe Commaret said it was already working on moving customers from failed company Utility Point." Yep that's me, we got in first. "Mr Commaret said the issue of whether Ofgem can force larger energy firms to step into that role is 'the big question at the moment across the industry'".

Why does life have to be so complicated? If you were starting a country from scratch (which I frequently do in computer games), you'd set up an electricity company to supply the needs of all your citizens and businesses. A company for gas. One for water. And so on. These utilities are too important to be subject to 'the market'. I understand the theory that promoting competition is the best way to keep prices low for consumers but not if it's at the expense of supply interruptions.

Get this, according to weownit.org.uk:

1. Scotland

Scottish Water was never privatised, it’s publicly owned and is the most trusted utility in the UK, delivering cleaner rivers, lower bills and more investment per head.

2. Ireland

Mail, rail, buses and water are all publicly owned in the republic of Ireland.

3. Switzerland

The railway in Switzerland is publicly owned - and it’s been named the best train company in Europe. 

4. Denmark

Denmark has the highest proportion of wind power in the world. Its transmission grid (like our National Grid) is fully publicly owned and most wind farms are cooperatively or community owned. 

5. The Netherlands

In the Netherlands, water, electricity and gas networks are all publicly owned - and it's illegal to privatise any of them.

6. Slovakia

Slovakia’s publicly owned railway provides free rail transport for children, students and pensioners.😇

7. Germany

The city of Munich in Germany is developing 100% municipal and 100% renewable energy by 2025 - they got tired of waiting for the private providers so they’re doing it directly.

In Germany too, 88% of all trips on local public transport (bus, tram and local trains) are provided by publicly-owned operators.

8. Greece

The Greek government is installing free wifi in 3000 public spaces including public squares, pedestrian zones, playgrounds, municipal libraries and museums.

9. France

The post office in France (La Poste) is publicly owned. Its services include banking, insurance, driving tests, fresh food delivery and home visits for older people.

10... and France again!

Water is also publicly owned in hundreds of French cities! One of these is Paris, where L’Eau de Paris (the publicly owned company) has cut bills and introduced still and sparkling water fountains throughout the city.

Now there's a thing; I'll be asking my local councillor for sparkling water fountains in St Austell.

And while we're on it, why do we give our utility supply to foreign owners? Especially the perfidious French. Get this:

• Malaysian company YTL Corporation Berhad owns all of Wessex Water
• Cheung Kong Group, a multinational registered in the Cayman Islands run by family of Li Ka Shing (Hong Kong’s richest person) owns 80% of Northumbrian Water
• Between Germany’s Deutsche Asset Management and US private equity company Corsair Capital, they own half of Yorkshire Water
• MTR, a Hong Kong company, holds a 30 per cent stake in South Western Railway, and has been awarded the London Crossrail franchise.

Since you ask, my French electricity is still on. And someone is taking my money.

The Exploding Chocolate Brownie

It's a while since I wrote a blog post. Although only six days. Now that I have returned to pre-lockdown life (it honestly took me a while to remember my routine) I am enjoying aspects of Cornish life such as outdoor cafés. While it's still dry and sunny, which I guess won't be for much longer.

I've mentioned before the new Covent Garden of the South West, aka Charlestown Harbour. I've introduced you to the coffee stall of No. 1 Cubs and now I have discovered their pièce de résistance, the exploding chocolate brownie. I have no idea why 'exploding' but I can tell you it is

The. Most. Delicious. Chocolate. Brownie. Ever.

So a daily visit to the stall is (a) the reason for having little blogging time and (b) very bad for my waistline. But hey, life's short. Probably shorter the more exploding brownies you eat. 

Words of the Week

monopolylogues - a word used by comedian Charles Matthews in 1828 to describe his one-man shows in which he played multiple parts. According to Claire Tomalin, the young Charles Dickens saw his performances at Drury Lane.

blamestorming - whose fault is it? Think the (actually any) Opposition.

sassigassity -  made up word by Dickens meaning 'audacity with attitude'. Think Angela Raynor.

carcolepsy - the tendency to fall asleep as soon as the car starts moving. Not in the vocabulary of young children.

destinesia - you get to where you intended to go but forgot why you went there. Think Boris Johnson.

screwgled - can't remember what you wanted to Google? Think the LibDems.

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.” [Through the Looking Glass]

The Dickens Boy

Thomas Keneally is a prolific writer. A Booker Prize winner for Schindler's Ark, he has published more than 40 books to date. Still writing at the age of 83, he talked to the Guardian two years ago and, when asked to name "the last book that made me cry", he nominated ClaireTomalin’s Charles Dickens: A Life:

She managed to convey the extent to which the genius and silly man was, in lacerating his wife and pursuing a new love, so unwittingly dedicated to his own destruction.

I was recently recommended Keneally's The Dickens Boy and borrowed the book. I thought that the story of a child of Charles Dickens emigrating to Australia was a fictional device but I soon realised that it actually happened. The book is nevertheless a novel but Edward Bulwer Lyttton Dickens, the youngest of Dickens' ten children, did in fact travel to Australia in 1868 at the age of 16 to begin a new life in the country he thought of as "the land of opportunity".

I soon came to the conclusion that I knew next to nothing about the life of Charles Dickens and that The Dickens Boy would make more sense if I read Tomalin's biography first. Which I have now started. More news in due course on both books.

Heading for a change

Footballers are five times more likely to suffer from dementia than the general population. Because they head the ball. This revealed by a Glasgow University study. Already, the English football authorities have issued guidance for mens' and womens' professional and amateur clubs that recommends "a maximum of ten higher force headers are carried out in any training week." [thefa.com] High force headers are "typically headers following a long pass (more than 35m) or from crosses, corners and free kicks."

This represents a huge challenge for the sport of football. The present stance of the authorities can be summarised in one word: prevarication. Tony Cascarino was a striker who played for Ireland in two World Cups. Writing in the Times, Cascarino is scathing about the guidance:

The new guidance on heading in training, issued by the leading bodies in English football, makes no sense. The thinking appears to be that doing less heading in training means fewer impacts and therefore less risk.

First, if there is an issue with heading, why allow it to continue at all? Second, heading is a skill and it requires practice and plenty of repetition. Reducing how much a player can practise reduces their technical ability and means they might suffer more damage because they head the ball poorly in matches.

The issue is damage to the brain which is a sponge in the skeleton that takes impact regularly.

I'm not a medical expert but the evidence of this and other studies appears irrefutable. There is only one question to be answered: is heading so fundamental to football that we are prepared to see footballers suffer brain damage? The answer surely is: no. I frequently get carried away when watching football and my frustration at a team's inability to create scoring opportunities; I will shout something like "get the ball in the box for him to head it". You can hear fans at matches encouraging their teams to do the same, so we definitely need educating.

If you watch teams such as Barcelona and Manchester City playing the beautiful game, they do so without the traditional big, brawny strikers who can score headed goals. Last season's Champions League winners and Premier League winners did so without such players. I remember the late Brian Clough, winner of two European Cups with unfashionable Nottingham Forest, saying "If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there". The clue is in the name: football is meant to be played with the feet. I remember a sickening heading collision last season between players of Arsenal and Wolverhampton Wanderers and that made me think seriously about my attitude towards this issue for the first time.

UEFA - the governing body for European football - has guidance for young people playing football. It includes recommendations and advice on specific aspects such as ball size and pressure, the need for neck-strengthening exercises, and detection of potential concussion symptoms. FIFA - the world governing body - is, as far as I can discover, silent on the issue.

I believe that it is inevitable that, within ten to twenty years, heading will be banned in the laws of the game, exactly as handling the ball is. The authorities would do well to take the kind of initiatives used by climate change activists, by setting a fixed end date to achieve the change and establishing realistic waypoints. Something like the following:

• by 2040, the laws of football will be amended to ban heading the ball, punishable in the same way as handling the ball already is
• by 2035, headed 'goals' will not count as goals scored
• by 2030, free kicks and corners in a football match must be played along the ground
• by 2025, all football goal-scoring statistics and honours (such as 'Golden Boots') will exclude headed goals
• by 2023 the laws of the game will include a definition of 'head' in the laws, as there are currently of hands and arms

1966 World Cup hero Nobby Stiles died last year after suffering from dementia. His son John, a former footballer himself, is campaigning with the Head for Change charity who helped organise a match at Spennymoor Town a week ago, in which heading was banned. A noble cause and well intended, but high level influence is needed to effect change.

There will be those that believe that this will destroy football as we know it - which it will and, in my opinion, for the better - and others who believe such a timetable is too long. The debate should be started and it should not be left to charities to do so.

National Grandparents Day

The problem with blogging about annual events such as National Grandparents Day is: how do you avoid repetition?

This year it's today, October 3rd. Last year was October 4th. We are getting younger. Or perhaps ageing more slowly. I believe it's always on the first Sunday in October. The same as the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe, the premier European horse race, the peak of the flat racing season. At Longchamp today. 3:05 BST.

Anyway, here's what my grandkids can do for me today:

• read your grandfather's blog
• comment on some posts in your grandfather's blog (you have a choice of 303)
• check out your grandfather's Twitter feed @usedtobecroque1 and send me a tweet
• post links to your grandfather's blog on your TikTok accounts
• wear a @usedtobecroque1 T shirt
• make a "I love my Grandpa" web site
• take your mum and dad breakfast in bed

Not much to ask really; I'm always asking my grandchildren for birthday and Christmas lists so I thought I'd preempt their requests for today. Just in case.

October 3rd is also National Boyfriend Day in the USA. I don't have one of those - unless I take Tony as a boy and a friend - so I'll stick with checking my blog for grandson comments. Expect there will probably be none.😭

Butchers and referees

Everything is now viewed through a 'shortage' lens. Today's Times reports that "Britain is facing a shortage of butchers amid warnings that pigs in blankets, hams and party foods will be scarce this Christmas". And in the sports pages, "it has become a weekly scramble to find [referees] to take charge of matches, largely around London". "If he knows the rules and has a whistle, we'll take him" said someone from the Amateur Football Alliance. If only I didn't live 300 miles away ...

The solution is obvious: find some areas of surplus, too many people doing things that are at best useless at worst unnecessary. Start with the House of Lords. Here's your challenge for today, dear reader: locate your nearest member of that esteemed body, give him a lorry, her a cleaver and a dead cow, it a whistle [we're gender-inclusive here] and they can drive to the slaughterhouse, chop up the cow, deliver the meat to the butcher's shop, pick up and deliver some dirty diesel to the petrol station forecourts every Monday through Friday then, on Saturdays, referee Local United v Nearby Wanderers. Sundays, go and collect their attendance allowance at the House of Lords. There are 788 of them, for heaven's sake!  Make them useful.

No doubt my erudite readers will have suggestions for other surplus professions; let's hear them!

My guess is the government will be storing up all these apparent problems for a month and then, at the UN Climate Change Conference Cop26 in Glasgow, announcing "great strides by the United Kingdom towards achieving our carbon neutral goals by:

• reducing the number of lorries on our roads
• reducing the number of petrol and diesel cars on our roads
• reducing the numbers of cows and pigs eaten by our people
• nominating the 25th of December as "vegetarian Christmas Day"
• improving the health of our nation with a pilot scheme in which 788 extremely old people [of all genders] 'volunteered' to take part in a trial of the new 'Saturday running about and blowing a whistle' scheme"

What a dramatic announcement this would be! The whole world will be applauding ... until they realise that, if you don't eat the cows and pigs, they'll all be carrying on doing what they do, which is producing tons and tons of methane. "It has been estimated that methane gas from cows is 23x more damaging to our climate than the carbon dioxide produced by cars": check out cows v cars at ourfuture.energy.

Start stockpiling those pigs and blankets, people.