Match Of The Dull #MOTD

Let's face it, Match Of The Day is one of the dullest TV programmes.

Aired at a time when sensible people are in bed, it shows brief highlights of the Premier League matches of the day. It's so predictable that, if your team was involved in in a drab 0-0 draw (that's you, Chelsea!), you'll know that you're for the ten minutes to midnight slot. Clips are so short that they inevitably give a distorted view of the match.

Then there's the presenter and so-called pundits. Ex footballers who tell us what we already know and can see (if the highlights haven't missed it) - that Spurs don't score in the first half of games, Chelsea need a number 9 (they actually have one but he's on loan in Italy), that James Ward Prowse is the best free kick taker in the world, that Bruno Fernandes is a whinger, etc.

To fill in the time - it's a 90 minute programme with approximately 50 minutes of football - the ex footballer buddies joke with and about each other on sofas, reminiscing about their days on the sacred green turf ("we would never have allowed that behaviour in our day") and generally having nothing new to say.

What would be a better idea would be to show extended highlights of the football, without presenter or pundits ruining it. It's TV, we can use our eyes.

Wait! That's happening tonight? Terrific. I'll be there.

The Bleedin' Obvious

There are some ideas that are so obviously stupid that it's not worth the effort setting out the arguments. Like sending asylum seekers to Rwanda. And Government-appointed football regulators.

The Government's White Paper is driven by a "fan led review". Have you ever seen a football fan, Mr Sunak**? These are morons who, bare chested in the middle of winter, stand up - blocking the view of those seated behind them - and yell obscenities at the opposition (and sometimes their own) players and the officials*. Obviously they should regulate football.

Governments wouldn't dream of interfering in other private businesses. Football isn't special. It's not a cultural icon that needs protection, like the Royal Opera House (don't get me onto that). Go and regulate an industry that's out of control, like electricity providers.

There may be an upside, though. When Kier Starmer, an Arsenal season ticket holder, becomes PM, he might appoint Jeremy Corbyn - another - to be Sports Minister, thus enabling a Golden Age of Gunners success. Let's do it!

* This pretty much accurately describes me in front of the TV watching football. Without the bare chest, obviously. Many years ago I stopped taking my young sons to football matches, because of the foul language and obnoxious behaviour. That of the fans too.

** I'm guessing that's a No.

Seven things to be hopeful for Arsenal

1. They are top of the league (as of this date: 19th February 2023), two points clear and with a game in hand over the two Manchester clubs

2. After a difficult game away to Leicester, (25th February) they have a promising run of matches in March:

• home to Everton (revenge)
• home to Bournemouth
• away to Fulham
• home to Crystal Palace

3. Jorginho is a key new addition and could play alongside Partey if needed

4. They are 13 points clear of fifth place Newcastle, so a top 4 place (and qualification for the 2023/2024 Champions League) is a strong probability

5. Their final match of the season is at home to Wolves, who may be relegated by then

6. Emile Smith Rowe is back and he can score goals

7. Gabriel Jesus will be back soon

Fellow Gunners supporters, there is hope of a first Premier League title for 19 years!