Not a lot of people know that

So said Michael Caine. But apparently it was Peter Sellers who first used it, mimicking Michael Caine on the Micheal Parkinson show. Because he said Caine was always quoting the Guinness Book of Records.  But everyone can hear Caine's voice saying it, as he did in Educating Rita.

That led me to investigate other wrongly attributed sayings. mashable.com tells me that Sherlock Holmes never said "elementary, my dear Watson". George Washington didn't say "I cannot tell a lie". Niccolo Machiavelli was not the first to voice "the ends justify the means". And Albert Einstein is wrongly attributed with saying "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

All the things I've ever learned have been trashed. Is nothing sacred?

What's your plan for tomorrow...

...is the first line of a song Take Back The Power by a band called The Interrupters. One of the great joys of blogging, at least my style of it, is expanding your own knowledge and, hopefully, that of your readers. I came across this song as the theme music for a Sky Documentaries' show "Hillary", about Hillary Rodham Clinton, as she calls herself. The first lines of the song are an apt introduction to the subject of the documentary:

What's your plan for tomorrow

Are you a leader or will you follow

Are you a fighter or will you cower

It's our time take back the power

I have never heard of The Interrupters. It turns out they a ska punk band. I have absolutely no idea what that means but it bears investigation, even sounds fun. I certainly enjoy the song and add it to a Spotify playlist. It has drive, energy, noise and raises the heart beat. 

I learn that ska punk is a "fusion genre that mixes ska music and punk rock. So says Wikipedia but I reckon even I could have figured that out. I still have to find out what ska music is and it turns to be of Jamaican origin, pre reggae. It has a walking bass line (I know what that is from listening to Oscar Peterson in my youth) with accents on the off beats (as you get with reggae). And lots more that I won't burden you with - check it out if you want to know more or, better, listen to the song.

Anyway, the documentary is fascinating. I have one episode of the four to go but I get the gist. Does it tell me more about Hillary Clinton than I already know? Yes, it does. As far as I can judge, it is a fair assessment of her life and work. Like all of us, and particularly people in positions of power, there are good things and bad. Successes and failures.  I didn't have any preconceptions (well not too many) about her going into the programme and I think I have a sense of when I am being "had", of a biased product placement. I don't think that was the case. It is true that the majority of those interviewed were well disposed towards her but that's because these were the people who knew her well, so I accept that. It's definitely not hagiography.

There is a great deal of face to face interviews with her. The questions are more like prompts, because she seems like she relishes getting everything out there, feels the need to explain herself, and you only need to prompt her about an episode in her life and she's off, streams of consciousness. Can I tell whether she is telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? No, but could I with most politicians?

The song's chorus is:

We don't need to run and hide

We won't be pushed off to the side

I think that sums Hillary Clinton up. If you can find it, it's worth watching. 

Sandy or stony?

Summer is back in St Austell, after days of grey skies and intermittent, unpredictable showers.

That's probably double tautology.

I decided a little walk to Charlestown was in order, to check out the beach, which (like the rest of the world) is now open. It's not much of a beach. Tiny.

And no sand.

A pebble beach. Not the Pebble Beach, of course.

There are hundreds of revellers, some  of whom are enjoying a swim.

And the sun.

Not much social distancing but the virus had all gone, hasn't it? Er, not totally.

Well we can mingle, yes? Without face masks? Er, not sure.

But that nice Mr Sunak says I can get a Big Mac for 50p can't I? Not yet.

But I'm not here to talk about confused government messaging, this is about beaches.

Why is the word beach used to describe markedly different things? Charlestown beach is small pebbles. Unlike Whitstable, which is great big boulders. Beaches IMO should have sand. Like Bondi. Even Margate.

On a sandy beach you can do things: dig, make castles with moats. What can you do on a stony beach? Throw stones, that's it. Stony beaches hurt your feet when you are approaching the water for a paddle; sandy beaches are beautiful on the feet. Although the sand gets in your sarnies; get pizza and beer instead!

The biggest problem though is not knowing what you're going to get. Checking out a four bedroom villa in Greece: "50 metres from the beach". Great; kids, pack your buckets and spades. Dad, I can't make a sand castle here; it's stones!

I suggest better wording: Whitbeach for pebbles/stones, Marbeach for sand. But the thing about all these beaches now is: they're open! Once the Cornish visitors have gone home, in September, I'll be there again.

Three word problem

The Britannia Inn. Open for lunch. Many outdoor tables. Some with roofs. Ideal for sun. And persistent drizzle. Met with Tony. Alcohol free beer. Heineken Zero Zero. San Miguel better. But not here. Cornish Brie ciabatta. With crispy bacon. And tasty chutney. Mixed berry Pavlova. More Heineken Zero. Tony needs haircut. Won't show photo. Much witty conversation. Back to normal. At least nearly.

Who needs tech?

My bathroom scales are on the blink. Or they were. Electronic ones. I step on them and a message appears on the mini screen: "O-Ld". What? Overload? Come on, I may have been snacking too much during lockdown but that's ludicrous. Maybe it's a zero, not O. So maybe it means "zero liked". It's possible     it doesn't speak English so perhaps it's "me no like...". Me no like what? Or whom?

Have my scales been hacked? GCHQ checking I've been getting exercise?

Wait, maybe it's "Oiled". It needs oil? Off I go my local garage, which has finally opened after lockdown. I met the owner recently in Lidl; he was bemoaning having to pay rent throughout the closure, even though no income. Puts my bathroom scales problem in perspective.

Anyway I did what you always do if your computer goes weird - switch it off then back on. Only there isn't a switch, or a reset button, so I take out the batteries and re-insert them. No different. Obviously therefore it's the batteries. So I buy new ones and insert them. No different. Money wasted.

Off to Asda. Face mask on. Mechanical bathroom scales £4. Bargain. No problem. Check out lady advises me to keep the  receipt in case they are faulty. Don't bother, I'll buy another one. Although not a £4 one if that doesn't last.

Anyone need four 3 volt batteries, shaped as circular discs?

The Cold Blooded Hearts

How many football managers are rock stars? Or even look like rock stars? There are plenty who fancy themselves as style icons but not so many with rugged rock star hair, hairy chest and smoldering looks (think Rod Stewart). So all hail Gareth Ainsworth, long-serving manager of the mighty Wycombe Wanderers, aka the Chairboys. He is the longest serving manager, at 7½ years, in the top four divisions of English football (the average tenure is about 20 minutes).

Ainsworth is lead singer and songwriter of The Cold Blooded Hearts. Their latest effort The Wanderer is available on Spotify. It's cheesy country and western stuff. Great for a night out in High Wycombe (ask my sons about that).

Everyone has a nickname in football. His is Wild Thing.

Adebayo Akinfenwa is another wild thing. Also, like Ainsworth, a cult figure. He is Wycombe's centre forward (the modern usage "striker" might be a bit of a misnomer for him) and the word "figure" is apt; he weighs in at 16 stone (101 Kg), so says the purveyor of truth known as Wikipedia, and can bench press (whatever that means) 200 Kg. He roams around the football field like King Kong. Sprinting is not his thing but frightening opposing defenders (and sometimes his own teammates) definitely is. You have to play the ball to his feet. Do not expect him to jump. Do not expect him to run in behind defenders. Get the ball onto his chest and he will hold it up until teammates arrive to help him out i.e. take the ball from him and plonk it in the net. Don't expect him to run to the corner flag to join in the celebrations. But when his team scored the decisive goal tonight, even he was part of a huge scrum of flailing Wycombe bodies. I pitied whoever was underneath him; they may not be ready for next Monday's final.

Wycombe Wanderers are in League One and tonight  they fought their way through to the Play Off Final at Wembley Stadium. In normal times I'd definitely be up for the trip there. Unfortunately fans are not allowed at the moment. Boris, could you make an exception?

Somehow The Chairboys (High Wycombe is a furniture town) seems a rather feeble moniker for this burly group of lads. We really need something more gritty. Suggestions?