U Turns

I play an old computer game Championship Manager 2001/02, known to its fans as CM0102. It's a clunky, enjoyable role playing game (RPG as video gamers know it) where you manage a football club. Ipswich Town might be in League One now but by tomorrow in my game they will have won the World Cup (that's a slightly patronising nod to my many football-hating readers, who don't know that clubs cannot win international tournaments).

Anyway, in each turn of the game it is possible to get News items to read. One of the most iconic is "....[club name] chairman says that ..... [manager's name] has the Board's full confidence." When you see this, you know that seven days later that manager will be sacked. The ultimate in U turns.

Politicians hate U turns but seem to indulge in them rather too often. "You turn if you want to.The lady's not for turning" said Margaret Thatcher; in that context - the UK economy - she stuck with it but later her party (after she had been ousted over the poll tax issue) made a U turn on the policy she had introduced.

In the US, U turns are called flip-flops, although to us Brits they are the most uncomfortable beach footwear you can imagine. In Australia and New Zealand, U turns are "backflips", which sound like the highest tariff dives possible. In Italy they probably call a flipflop a ciabatte infradito; I had one of those recently at the Britannia Inn. Delicious. The Spanish chanclas sounds less edible, more a percussion instrument.

I don't really go in for politics in this blog, so I am going to skip over the eleven U turns made by the UK government since 12 March. Tempting but...no, move on.

Why do U turns only take place "at the 11th hour"? In these times of 24 hour clocks, do our fellow Europeans U turn "at the 23rd hour"?

Is it a U turn to change your mind? Ashoka (304–232 BCE) was an Indian Emperor who ruled over a huge Indian Empire. He conquered Kalinga in a bitterly destructive war, in which thousands were slain. After seeing the slaughter he had caused, Ashoka embraced Buddhism and preached a new doctrine of non-violence, toleration and peace. 10/10 Ashoka.

U turns in the movies:

“- Jenny: You like Patsy Cline? I just love her. I wonder how come she don't put out no more new records.
- Bobby Cooper: Because she's dead.
- Jenny: Oh... that's sad. Don't that make you sad?
- Bobby Cooper: I've had time to get over it.” [Claire Danes and Sean Penn in Oliver Stone's movie "U Turn" of 1997]

I thought the Highway Code might have something to say about U turns but no. There is only "Just before U turn [sic], check for undertaking cyclists or motorcyclists". But U turns don't always need to be seen as negative. I'll give Indian writer Atul Chandra Sarkar the last word.

Squeeze the rose of my heart,
Each red drop,
Reflects you;
Split the oyster of my heart,
See the pearls,
Of our lovely moments;
The Great Bear in the sky
Of my heart are our,
Seven days spent together;
The scattered dandelions
Of my heart's garden relate,
My million wishes for you;
The meteors hitch to shoot,
From the heaven of my heart,
Lest I again wish for you;
My grave cannot hold me back,
I'll wander out in search of you,
If my ashes are immersed,
I shall take a u-turn,
To return back to you!

Biography

I have never read much in the way of biography - the occasional footballer, maybe. But historical figures, almost none. Until now. I have spent the last few weeks reading Claire Tomalin's "Samuel Pepys: the Unequalled Self". Oh my, what I have been missing. This is spellbinding stuff, beautifully written and opening  up new vistas for me of the English Civil War, the Stuarts and their failings and the sheer wantonness of 17th century life.

It is an enormous read and reading a couple of dozen pages in bed each night means I have spaced this endeavour out over several weeks. Which I can only imagine matches in some way the incredible amount of research which must have gone into writing this book. So I feel I am honouring the spirit of the author; I hope she would be proud of me.

Obviously the primary source material for the book is Pepys' diary. Excerpts from the diary in the book make me realise how much I need an interlocutor if I am to understand his words. 17th century English, interspersed with words in foreign tongues and encased in a florid and expressive vernacular render much of the language impenetrable to the non scholar that I am. Pepys' education clearly doesn't match mine; his is classical in style and mine is scientific modernist, hence my difficulties. What am I to make of "the mistresse of the shop took us into the kitchen and there talked and used us very prettily, and took her for my wife, which I owned and her big belly, and there very merry, till my thing done, and then took coach and home, in the way tomando su mano and putting it where I used to do; which ella did suffer, but not avec tant de freedom as heretofore, I perceiving plainly she had alguns apprehensions de me but I did offer natha more then what I had often done. "? (Best not explained to the children)

In his diary Pepys gives a vivid picture of life in the second half of the 17th century. The Great Plague of 1665 and the Fire of London in the following year are extensively chronicled in the book and resonated strongly with me at our pandemic time.

Pepys is a man of many parts. We read extensively of him as a naval administrator, as a loyal courtier to, in turn, Cromwell,  Charles II and James II, as a "mover and shaker" in society and as a husband (sadly not a father).

The navy was a hugely important part of English power and Pepys worked his way up through the civil service ranks to eventually become Secretary to the Admiralty. There were 23 years of war with the Dutch and later conflicts with the French who were supporting James II and his return to the English throne. Pepys signed supply contracts, administered the fleet and the dockyards and was a persistent advocate for more funding for the navy. He also spoke out against pressing, but not to the same effect. His work in this regard allowed him to generate considerable personal wealth, it being the norm to act as a paid agent and to extract payments from contractors for services rendered.

It seems that Pepys was a parliamentarian and republican. Freshly out of school he became an Exchequer clerk and attended meetings chaired by Cromwell. He worked in Cromwell's service until the Restoration, at which point it seemed apposite to serve Charles II. Pepys is clearly no great lover of the dissolute life that the monarch lived but did his job and from time to time was called to advise the King. Tomalin tells us "Pepys's position at the Navy Board meant he owed direct duty and loyalty to the King" but "he was shocked by what he heard of the swearing, drinking and whoring at court". He continued to serve the new King James II during his short reign.

Pepys' parliamentarianism came back to haunt him in later life, suffering trial and imprisonment in the blood letting that seems to be have been a feature of both the (Catholic) Restoration and the subsequent (Protestant) monarchy of William and Mary.. He had always been agnostic in religious matters and had friends and family who were Catholics and his support and friendship never wavered and later led to his being accused of being a secret Papist. It can't have been a pleasant time for him. In this respect Tomalin gives a clear picture of a hard working and loyal servant of whomever his leader was at the time.

Pepys clearly loved mixing with powerful and important people, not only in the civil service but in the arts and sciences. He was elected as a Fellow of the Royal Society and enjoyed its discourse for many years, eventually serving as President for a two year term. He became familiar with such as Isaac Newton, Christopher Wren, the chemist Robert Boyle, the economist William Petty and the polymath Robert Hooke. He read widely, made and listened to music and collected art. I think he would have had a season ticket to the Royal Opera today. Maybe even Bayreuth.

As for his personal life, he made many friends, both male and female, and enjoyed discourse and intimacy with them. He was a loving husband. I can't recall any sense of regret at being childless but it's possible that his behaviour with other women was partly a result of that.

Overall, Samuel Pepys is a complex and alluring character. He comes across as an often frustrated administrator and courtier - never quite in the top echelon of society - who lived the most amazingly busy life and made the most of his abilities. He was loyal to his friends and constant in his derision of his enemies. A likeable man? Probably not. But a formidable one.

I now know that Tomalin has written biographies of Dickens, Hardy and Jane Austen amongst others. I shall definitely be working my way through these in my nightly vigils, Claire. Thank you for bringing light into my life.

The Machine Stops

A world in which all humans live underground. Each person in their own bubble. a small room where everything happens for them.The central character of the story gives lectures to remotely located students and "attends" lectures herself. Remotely communicating with her son and others.

A prescient parable of our pandemically-challenged times? Perhaps but, astonishingly, The Machine Stops is a short story by E. M. Forster, written in...1909.

As well as communication, feeding, sleeping, air conditioning and other necessary aspects of daily life are controlled by the Machine. A world-wide inter-connected, all-embracing functional controller.

Technology innovation in 1909 consisted of bakelite, cellophane, lipstick and disposable razor blades. Although Alexander Graham Bell had developed the telephone 30 years earlier it wasn't until the 1930s that phones in homes became a thing; Forster may have had some awareness of the device in 1909 but probably no experience. So how could he have imagined the world of Skype, the Internet, Zoom and WhatsApp? Amazing.

This is not the fantasy fiction of The Time Machine or The Invisible Man (no offence Herbert George Wells; I have enjoyed your books immensely) but rather science/technology/sociology fiction.

Nor is this Orwell's 1984 control freakery; citizens of this story are allowed, but not encouraged, to do certain things such as travel. So it's not about fascism or demagoguery. It is essentially about the dangers of technological development and the inexorable trend towards machine control. The Machine is clearly a benign object to the world's citizens; some of them even begin to worship it:

"The Machine", they exclaimed, "feeds us and clothes us and houses us; through it we speak to one another, through it we see one another, in it we have our being. The Machine is the friend of ideas and the enemy of superstition; the Machine is omnipotent, eternal; blessed is the Machine."

The Machine is doing a great job for the citizens of Earth. It supplies all their bodily and spiritual needs.

Until. It. Breaks. Down.

The. Machine Stops.

In my never-satisfied search for more knowledge, I came across a 2016 album of the same name by the space-rock band Hawkwind. There is an introductory narrative track All hail The Machine, with a background of weird machiney and spacey sounds:

The Machine feeds us & clothes us & houses us

Through the Machine, we speak to one another, in it we have our being

The Machine is the friend of ideas & the enemy of superstition

The Machine is omnipotent, eternal

Blessed is The Machine

Blessed is The Machine

All this talk is as if a god made the machine

But you must remember that men made The Machine

Great men but men all the same

The Machine is much but it is not everything

There is something like you on the screen but you are not seen

There is something that sounds like you but you are not heard

In time, because of The Machine, there will come a generation that has got beyond facts

Beyond impressions

A generation absolutely colourless

A generation seraphically free from the taint of personality

All hail The Machine!

All hail The Machine!

At last on track 2 (The Machine) we get music!

Oh to reach the surface once again

And feel the sun

I thought a later track Living on Earth might give some of E. M. Forster enlightenment but sadly the lyrics - and the music - typify the album's deterioration into the mundane (Maybe that's a metaphor for The Machine Stops).

I didn't know, no one told me of this

That living on Earth is no life of bliss

Those halcyon days when time slips away

Our love won't exist

I'm sorry Hawkwind, you don't make it onto my Spotify favourites list but it was good to know you.

Nonsense rhymes

I picked up a rum-looking biscuit

Shall I throw it away or risk it?

Don't be daft, you can't die

from eating a pie

You're just being too pessimistic

I decided to take a big chance

It seemed OK at a glance

It looked a bit off

and I started to cough

And ended the night in a trance

In the trance I felt a bit pale

I dreamed I was inside a whale

It was very dark

but I saw Noah's Ark

And here is my animal tale

A dodo came into my house

Trying hard to catch a mouse

I said "no, no, 

Go away, dodo, 

It's eating that horrid woodlouse" 

I once met a big ugly toad

I thought he was crossing the road 

"Mr Toad, here's a log"

"Don't be daft, I'm a frog

And this is my humble abode"

The louse and the mouse and the frog

and the dodo, all went for a jog

They watched a black cat

keep an eye on a rat

But forgot to watch out for the dog!

I've got no more beasts for you

They've all gone back to the zoo

They're met with confetti

from a just-married yeti

Now I'm off to bed, toodaloo.

Eat  your heart out, Edward Lear.

Did you know? More great people

Gustav Eiffel. We all know what he is famous for - but did you know he built a railway station in Chile, a gasworks in Bolivia and a lighthouse in Estonia?

Hypatia. The oldest known female mathematician. Lived in Egypt in the 4th century. I wonder what mathematicians actually did in those days?

Bhasa. A 3rd/4th century Indian playwright. His plays sometimes showed scenes of physical violence, against the traditions of the Natya Shastra.

Christine de Pizan. An early feminist, she was in a way a "court writer" to France's Charles VI. She especially espoused the virtues of Charles' Queen Isabeau and Louis VIII's Queen Blanche in her writings.

Niccolo Machiavelli. Wrote a five act comedy La Mandragola. Not what he is more usually remembered for. Maybe he thought politicians were all comical.

Liliʻuokalani. A Hawaiian songwriter. She was also the last sovereign monarch of the Hawaiian Kingdom, before its overthrow in 1893.

Stephanie Kwolek. The inventor of Kevlar.

Civilization VI. "Just a game"

It's just a game

 No it's not. My favourite computer game Civilization VI is far far more than that. It is an archive of historical accuracy and detail. History, ancient and modern, that I learn from almost every day. Great people, great works of engineering, science, commerce, literature, music, the visual arts and yes, warfare. Sun Tzu alongside Isaac Newton alongside Gustav Klimt.

The developers of the game pride themselves on historical accuracy and relevance, with great respect for all cultures and values. 19th century Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai, Genghis Khan, Machiavelli and Zoroaster are all around, as great people who have made their contributions to the development of the world's civilisations, without value judgements on their effects. There is no Adolf Hitler, though, and no Pol Pot, although genocide is "represented" by Genghis and Ethiopia's Menilek II. But Menilek is there alongside Simon Bolivar, Gandhi and Montezuma as protectors of their countries/regions against the ravages of colonialism.

You don't learn this in school history.

It's a cornucopia of cultural bountifulness, a profusion of world knowledge, a schooling in history from ancient Mesopotamia to Second World War Australia, with their respective leaders Gilgamesh and John Curtin.

Consider what I learned yesterday; two [excerpts from] poems by Emily Dickinson:

Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne'er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need.

A Bird, came down the Walk - 
He did not know I saw -
He bit an Angle Worm in halves
And ate the fellow, raw, 

I love them.

And by the 8th century Chinese poet Li Bai:

Among the blossoms waits a jug of wine.
I pour myself a drink, no loved one near.
Raising my cup, I invite the bright moon
and turn to my shadow. We are now three.
But the moon doesn’t understand drinking,
and my shadow follows my body like a slave.
For a time moon and shadow will be my companions,
a passing joy that should last through the spring.
I sing and the moon just wavers in the sky;
I dance and my shadow whips around like mad.
But stumbling drunk, each staggers off alone.
Bound forever, relentless we roam:
reunited at last on the distant river of stars.

So, when I am playing the game as Simon Bolivar's Gran Colombia against Spain's Philip II and and I meet the roaming Kupe of the Maori and Poundmaker of the Cree, we are at one and I am re-living the history of the world. My world.

Kids, get playing and learning!