Grandparents are cool

Today is National Grandparents Day.

Let's hear it for all of us oldies!

Not good enough, tippy tappy clapping. Let's have a big cheer!

That's better.

Apparently it's been celebrated here in the UK since 1990 but I've never heard of it before. It seems my grandkids haven't either; wake up, boys! Where are the flowers, chocs, bottles of wine, tins of caviar? Maybe a tiny card?

I'll be celebrating it watching football (o-oh, half my audience just left; I should have left that until the end). Imbibing the wine and chocs I have supplied for myself 😒

In Canada, National Grandparents Day was initiated in 1995 then discontinued in 2014. Presumably because they didn't get any wine or chocs so why bother? The French version is sponsored by a coffee company. Costa, send me some beans; I've been a customer for years! The Taiwanese day was started by the Ministry of Education. Gavin, are you listening?

I could find no record of a National Grandparents Day in Russia, North Korea or Sweden. Meanies.

Boys, in case you think grandpeople are losing their marbles - Albert Einstein was a grandpa and no-one ever accused him of being crazy. Although he was reputed to have formulated his theory of relativity after dreaming about cows being electrocuted

I have just five grandchildren. Way behind Wilson Kettle, a Canadian, who had 65. Yep, you heard that correctly. He's in the Guinness Book of World Records; as he should be. He lived to the age of 102. I bet he got some chocolates.

Drive through flu jab

Next week I shall be having my flu jab. In the car park at the Eden Project. I will drive into a marked bay, wind my window down, get the jab, drive away. Sponsored by McDonalds [no, I made that last bit up, although you might think they missed a marketing opportunity there].

This sounds such a cool idea, I wondered what other aspects of life would be amenable to the drive through approach.

Obviously drive through fast food and coffee shops are familiar and, as a result of the pandemic, prescription pick ups and Covid testing now take place but I'm thinking outside the box.

I discovered that you can do drive through marriage in - guess where - Las Vegas.

How does that work? Do the bride and groom arrive from opposite sides of the drive through booth? In that case how does "you may now kiss the bride" work? Weird.

Also in the US - of course - mourners at a funeral can drive by at the funeral home to express their condolences. And a Congressman in Pennsylvania has a drive through window for constituency consultations. And McDonalds opened a ski through service - McSki - in Sweden.

There's nothing particularly wacky about these in the New Normal.

How about a drive through tree? That's just silly, you say. What would be the point? Good question.

Watch the roof rack though.

I'm not a Catholic so I probably shouldn't comment on their affairs but a drive through confessional seems an obvious application.

How about a drive through postman? Pull up outside the post office, scan your ID, QR code

or whatever; pick up your mail and deposit your pre-stamped letters to be sent. We would no longer need posties or draughty letter boxes and I would no longer receive incessant piles of junk mail. Very COVID-friendly. Sign me up!

They could even operate a "share a meal" service. Instead of food bank containers in supermarkets (always positioned after the checkout, so that I slap my forehead and mutter "darn it, forgotten it again"), those of us inclined to cooking delicious meals could deposit a lasagne (here's one I made earlier)

or whatever at the post office and people who need food banks could be given a food box when they pulled up. An obvious flaw in this is that people who need food banks maybe don't have a car, so there would have to be cycle through facilities. Or a lane for buses.

I'd quite like my government to consider these obvious and practical steps instead of wasting valuable time coming up with crazy schemes to use water cannon to create waves to push back migrant boats in the Channel. Or building floating walls in the sea. Or constructing an asylum processing centre on St Helena

(it worked for Napoleon). FYI I am not making these up, nor is it April 1st (at least not when I am writing this stuff).

And I'm not going to get into politics on this blog. Except maybe a drive through asylum processing centre:

"just pull over here, madam. Got your ID? No ID? Please do a U turn and drive to Terminal SH for the ferry to St Helena. Have a nice  day"

Weekly quiz #4 who said this?

Tell me who uttered these wise sayings. Where a person re-quoted another person's quote, you are allowed either but you get a bonus point if you get both (or all).

I thought I'd dial down the difficulty level a bit this week! Hope you all appreciate that.

Quote 1: "All warfare is based on deception"

Quote 2: "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds"

Quote 3: "For 10 years we in the Tory party have become used to Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing"

Quote 4: "Democratic societies are unfit for the publication of such thunderous revelations as I am in the habit of making"

Quote 5: "I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals"

Quote 6: "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past"

Quote 7: "If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace"

Good luck!

Quiz #3 answers

 Year 1: 2012

• David Cameron left his eight year old daughter at a pub
• Malala Yousafzai was shot by a member of the Taliban
• Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her jubilee
• London hosted the Olympic Games

Year 2: 1999

• The United States Senate tried, and acquitted, President Clinton for high crimes and misdemeanours
• The world's population first exceeded six billion
• The European Union introduced the Euro currency
• Shakespeare in Love won Best Picture at the Academy Awards

Year 3: 1962

• Ipswich Town won the First Division in England
• Jamaica gained its independence
• Marilyn Monroe died
• John Steinbeck won the Nobel Prize for Literature

Year 4: 1300

• Robert the Bruce defeated Edward II and declared Scotland independent
• It was a leap year
• Amsterdam was officially declared a city
• Giotto completed the Badia Polyptych

Year 5: 1933

• The London Underground map was unveiled
• Adolf Hitler appointed Chancellor of Germany
• England won The Ashes in Australia, unleashing bodyline bowling tactics against their opponents
• FM radio patented

Year 6: 1813

• Richard Wagner born
• Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice published anonymously in London
• Prussia declared war on France
• The battle of Stoney Creek took place

Year 7: 1940

• The first Tom and Jerry cartoon made
• John Lennon born
• A new car in the USA cost $850
• Rebecca won Best Picture at the Academy Awards

Weekly quiz #3 guess the year

Do you know which year the following happened? If you can answer from your encyclopaedic memory rather than cheating with Mr Google, so much the better 😀

Beware - they are not in chronological order!

Year 1 (let's start with an easy one):

• David Cameron left his eight year old daughter at a pub
• Malala Yousafzai was shot by a member of the Taliban
• Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her jubilee
• London hosted the Olympic Games

Year 2 (you can have a year either way):

• The United States Senate tried, and acquitted, President Clinton, who had been impeached for "high crimes and misdemeanours"
• The world's population first exceeded six billion
• The European Union introduced the Euro currency
• Shakespeare in Love won Best Picture at the Academy Awards

Year 3 (three years either way):

• Ipswich Town won the First Division in England
• Jamaica gained its independence
• Marilyn Monroe died
• John Steinbeck won the Nobel Prize for Literature

Year 4 (twenty years either way):

• Robert the Bruce defeated Edward II and declared Scotland independent
• It was a leap year
• Amsterdam was officially declared a city
• Giotto completed the Badia Polyptych

Year 5 (sorry, this is too easy, so no leeway):

• The London Underground map was unveiled
• Adolf Hitler was appointed Chancellor of Germany
• England won The Ashes in Australia, unleashing bodyline bowling tactics against their opponents
• FM radio patented

Year 6 (two years either way):

• Richard Wagner born
• Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice published anonymously in London
• Prussia declared war on France
• The battle of Stoney Creek took place

Year 7 (one year either way):

• The first Tom and Jerry cartoon made
• John Lennon born
• A new car in the USA cost $850
• Rebecca won Best Picture at the Academy Awards

Quiz #2 answers

 Exhibit A: Charles Dickens

Exhibit B: Albert Einstein

Exhibit C: Margot Fonteyn

Exhibit D: Paul Gauguin

Exhibit E: Isaac Newton

Exhibit F: Richard Wagner

Exhibit G: Hypatia

Exhibit H: Isaac Asimov