The length of the M23

I've just been watching Crystal Palace play Brighton. These two football clubs like to term their regular Premier League match "the M23 derby". Presumably to make up for any lack of a traditional rivalry, such as you might get with Arsenal and Tottenham, whose mutual antipathy derives from Arsenal moving from South London (originally as Woolwich Arsenal) to North London in 1913, onto Tottenham's "turf".

The term "derby" is normally used for teams in locations more or less geographically adjacent. Manchester United vs Manchester City (4 miles) is most definitely a derby; Man U vs Liverpool (33 miles) is not. No-one calls it the "M62 derby". Chelsea vs Fulham (1.8 miles) is; Chelsea vs Brentford (5.4 miles) is not. The term is most usually "local derby". Everton v Liverpool (0.9 mile) may be the closest.

How far from Crystal Palace to Brighton? 46 miles. Up the M23. Geographers amongst you may also have noticed that the M23 doesn't go to Brighton, so "A23 derby", anyone? What nonsense.

Maybe every club feels they should have a derby match in the schedule so, for Brighton, Palace are the nearest. But Newcastle don't think of their match vs Leeds as a local derby.

The term derby in this context goes back at least to the mid 19th century. Possibly down to some weird local rivalry (a village vs village punch-up?) which has been lost in the mists of time. In other words, I have no idea where it came from. Which is a pity because that's what this post was going to be about. Maybe I should do the research before I start.

In Spain, Real Madrid vs Barcelona is known as El Clásico - fierce rivalry but not a local derby.

If you were a football supporter in Wellington, New Zealand, your local professional team is Wellington Phoenix and their "derby", in terms of nearest competitor team (they play in the Australian A League), would be Sydney FC. 2,224 km away. Now there's a local derby!

Free agency news

Despite my sterling efforts on behalf of eleven destitute footballers, life remains tough for these unfortunate contributors to their countries' unemployment figures. Just two so far have had successful outcomes to their job searches. Centre forward Danny Welbeck signed for Brighton & Hove Albion on a one year deal.

It would be nice to think he can keep injury free; he has the talent to score goals for them.

And right back Nathaniel Clyne has signed a short term deal with Crystal Palace.

Centre back James Collins has decided to call it a day at the age of 37 and has retired from playing football and to "move on to my next chapter in life." Good luck for the future, James.

I still have hopes for the other eight from the original team but the question now arises whether I should replace these three with others who are available.

I think so. Here they are.

Antonio Valencia. 35. Right back. Ecuadorian international, 98 caps. Ex Wigan and Manchester United. 325 Premier League appearances, 23 goals. No history of long term injuries.

Adrian Mariappa. 34. Centre back. Jamaican international, 49 caps. Ex Reading, Crystal Palace, Watford. 168 Premier League appearances. Virtually injury free career.

Alexandre Pato. 31. Centre forward. Brazilian international, 27 caps, 10 goals. Ex AC Milan, Chelsea, Villareal. 117 Serie A appearances, 51 goals. Intermittent short term injuries only.

Peppercorns...

...all over the kitchen.

I was grinding some black pepper over my pizza when the grinder came apart. All over the kitchen; minor problem. Major problem was corns getting stuck in the mayo I had put on the pizza. Which isn't good for either the pizza or future pepper. I know, the foodies out there will be saying "get some fresh food inside you Nigel" and "mayo on pizza? weird". It's what it is; I like it. Although not so much highly peppered.

FYI it was spinach and ricotta. And I didn't eat a whole pizza. So no guilt.

Black peppercorns are dried berries from the vine Piper nigrum

healthline.com tells me that black pepper "has been deemed the 'king of spices' and used in ancient Ayurvedic medicine for thousands of years due to its high concentration of potent, beneficial plant compounds". For those of you who need me to enlighten you about Ayurvedic medicine, it's an Indian alternative medicinal system which "provides personalized recommendations about which foods to eat and avoid based on your body type" [healthline.com again]. I asked some Indians for some help but they said "sorry, we don't have anyone of your body type here, Nigel". The Indian Medical Association characterises the system as "quackery". Fake news!

Anyway I'm getting some exercise picking up all the peppercorns, as I don't want them to clog up my Dyson.

Weekly quiz #6

What shall I offer as this week's quiz topic? If I go for "one letter answers" will that be too easy? Everyone knows Bond's tech wizard Q; D is the number plate code for Germany; Juliet is the common phonetic alphabet J. What if I expanded it to two letters? That might be a bit harder. Here we go.

Q1. What is the 9th letter of the Welsh alphabet?

Q2. What area is designated by UK postcode IM?

Q3. ISO 3166-1 includes code SG for which country?

Q4. Which British territory has the internet domain name io?

Q5. Name a two letter Japanese board game.

Q6. What does the Spanish verb ir mean in English?

Q7. Boris III of Bulgaria had a son Simeon with what regnal number?

Q8. In the periodic table of elements, which element is abbreviated as Hg?

Enjoy.

Quiz #5 answers - and a great discovery

Question 1: Which country has the most islands?

Sweden. 221,800 islands.

Question 2: What is the deepest lake in the world?

Lake Baikal. 1,642m.

Question 3: Which is the smallest country by population in Europe?

Gibraltar. 33,691. The Holy See is smaller but I'm not sure that's technically a country. Or Vatican City itself. But give yourself a point if you got either of those. One interesting point I discovered whilst researching this: using worldometers.info, if I click on a country name it takes me to a screen which claims to be a live running total of population. Is that true? If I click on the most populous country in the world, check the live count then refresh five minutes later, will it reflect births and deaths in those five minutes? Let's try it:

14:17 China: 1,440,.....wait! It changed while I was typing it! That's amazing. Keep going - 1,440,849,101 at 14:19. Waiting......1,440,849,152 at 14.24. Interesting. I've just seen 50 babies born!

Wow, that's fantastic; how do they do it? Check it out at https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/population-by-country/

Question 4: How many countries are currently members of the United Nations? (you can have 5 either way)

193.

Question 5: Name a capital city whose name is two words long, both beginning with the same letter of the alphabet.

Phnom Penh. San Salvador. Addis Ababa.

Question 6: How many states does Brazil have?

26 plus one federal district (so you can have half a point for 27).

Question 7: Which EU country has a population nearest to that of Wales?

Lithuania 2,722,289 (live at 14:37 on 8 October 2020). Wales 3,230,490 (1 July 2020; nearest I could get).

Question 8: What is the most recent country to join the UN?

Montenegro. 2006.

Question 9: What is the longest capital city name?

Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Yuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratcha-thani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Phiman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit. The capital of Thailand.

Bet you thought that was Bangkok. It is.

14:48 China now has 1,440,849,409 citizens.

Eureka

We're all familiar with the tale of Archimedes shouting "Eureka" when  he stepped into the bath

and postulated his Principle, with which I shall not bore you. Enough to say that, if the ancient Greeks had showers instead of baths, ships

would never have been invented. Which would be good because there would be no seasickness in the world. And no pirates. No British Empire. He was so pleased with himself that he ran excitedly naked along the streets of Syracuse and told everyone. Although that sure sounds like a modern day fantasy tale.

Another famous Eureka (aka "aha") moment was Newton and the apple.

He noticed that the apple fell down, rather than sideways or up. He was 25 years old at the time and one wonders how he hadn't noticed objects falling for the last 25 years. Did it never rain where he lived? Or snowed? Did the snow rise rather than fall? Come on Isaac, are you a bit Forrest Gump? Anyway, he proceeded to formulate his law of gravity, which we all now know because, when you trip over your shoelaces, you fall to the ground rather than floating up in the air. Where would have been without you?

Paul McCartney woke up one morning with a tune in his head (aha). He worked it up into a song which he called "Scrambled eggs". The lyrics ran:

Scrambled eggs, oh, my baby, how I love your legs - diddle, diddle - I believe in scrambled eggs

Before the Beatles recorded it they renamed it Yesterday. And improved (presumably completely rewrote) the lyrics. Thank goodness for that.

There is a city Eureka in California. And the word is enshrined in the state motto. I believe Arnold Schwarzenegger, when he entered the state governor's residence, uttered the famous word: "Aha!". When he left of course he said "I'll be back".

I'm afraid I cannot confirm the veracity of any of the above.