Tuesday, 27 July 2021
Self-identifying
Spotto
When I was last in Australia visiting Son #1 and his family (an almost extinct activity which many of you will remember in the olden days), his children introduced me to the game of Spotto. It's customarily played on a car journey and involves the participants saying (it's usually yelling, actually) saying "Spotto" when they see a yellow car. The first to say it for a particular car gets a point and the player with the most points at the end of the journey wins.
You have to say the word in an Aussie accent, with the "tt" very soft and the final "o" more like "ao".
A simple game, you might think. But, as you can imagine, it leads to much controversy. Most obviously there are questions about the "shade" of yellow. "No, that's gold!" is a frequent cry. Marginal calls can be made on cars that have some yellow in their livery and adjudication is then called for. Did I mention that you lose a point if your claim is disallowed? Then there is the question whether buses count or does it have to be a car? Experienced players will sneak in the odd yellow road sign when attention is elsewhere, and caravans definitely engender debate. Ties (half a point each, which is awkward for three way ties) can be allowed, although loud shouts often win over equally well-timed but timid ones, unless you have a strong and well-respected adjudicator - normally the driver to make sure (s)he concentrates on all other road users not just yellow ones.. Familial respect can go out of the window.
When I returned to the UK I introduced Spotto to Son #2 and his family. So the game is no longer unique to the Aussies. As with the latter, daughters-in-law prove particularly pugnacious in playing the game. We have explored alternative versions such as Grotto for grey cars and Blotto for blue ones, and also (since they live close to the sea) inclusions of boats and garbage trucks. It whiles away the time on long trips.
If/when I buy a new car, I am considering getting a yellow one. I'd climb in it every morning and claim my Spotto point, almost always winning the day's competition. But would that be cheating? It's a moral dilemma that I may need help with. Let me know.
Sunday, 25 July 2021
Heritage
Do you know how many World Heritage Sites there are? Have a guess before you read on. No Googling. My guess was ... around 40.
Nope. There are 1,120 sites listed by Unesco, under whose auspices the sites are chosen. And sometimes unchosen. 868 on the list are cultural sites, such as Angkor Wat and Auschwitz Birkenau, 213 are natural, e.g. the Giant's Causeway and the Kilimanjaro National Park, and 39 are both - the Tasmanian Wilderness and Meteora, for example.
The United Kingdom is a State Party of the World Heritage Convention, which enables a state to identify and nominate properties in their national territory to be considered for inscription on the World Heritage List. In order to be a State Party, you have to agree to adhere to the World Heritage Convention which defines the kinds of sites eligible for inclusion and the responsibilities of the State Party in terms of conservation and other criteria.
Being a State Party provides access to the World Heritage Fund but also the Party contributes to that fund. A report commissioned for the Department for Culture, Media and Sport by PricewaterhouseCoopers in 2007 on the costs and benefits of World Heritage Site Status in the UK is so opaque and unhelpful to the casual reader that I gave up after 20 pages of what I can only describe as pure management consultancy speak. It describes benefits such as tourism, civic pride and social capital in terms that a sixth former could have done and is clearly a copy and paste job, for which the PWC partners were undoubtedly rubbing their hands with greedy glee. If you want your garden to be recommended for World Heritage status, don't read this report, ask me.
Of the 1,120 sites on the list, three are shown as Delisted. In other words, booted out:
- The Arabian Oryx Sanctuary
- Dresden Elbe Valley
- The City of Liverpool
was declared extinct in the wild and reintroduced, after a captive breeding programme, in 1982, in an area of Oman known for its unique desert ecosystem and protection of other endangered species. The site was delisted in 2007 after the government of Oman reduced the size of the conservation area by 90% amid "plans to proceed with hydrocarbon prospection". I take this to mean that digging for oil was more important than protecting the remaining 65 oryx (down from a peak of 450).
Friday, 23 July 2021
Words of the week
Luthier. A craftsperson (horrible, ugly word) who builds and repairs string instruments that have a neck and a sound box. In case there are other species in the universe which use "person", I prefer craftshuman.
Evazoum. A Late Triassic archosaurian ichnospecies. A four year old girl in Wales discovered a large Evazoum footprint on a beach. Her name (the girl, not the dinosaur) is Alice and she was walking with a White Rabbit Lily.
Pingdemic. The NHS Covid-19 app telling you to stay at home (but you don't have to).
Limbic. The limbic system is the part of the brain involved in our behavioural and emotional responses, especially when it comes to behaviours we need for survival: feeding, reproduction and caring for our young, and fight or flight responses. Word courtesy of Follower Dan.
Nudiustertian. Relating to the day before yesterday. I came across this in a cryptic crossword. From the Latin nunc dies tertius est (“now is the third day”). In some ways the opposite, or mirror image, of ...
Overmorrow. The day after tomorrow.
Thursday, 22 July 2021
Cheers!
I fell out of love with the Olympic Games when Ben Johnson cheated his way to a Gold Medal in the 1988 Summer Olympics. Having read The Rodchenkov Affair recently, it's clear that, if you can't be certain the athletes competing have not been taking performance enhancing drugs, what's the point in watching? So I don't.
For the next Summer Olympics in 2024 in Paris, cheerleading may make its debut, having been granted full status as an Olympic "sport", along with lacrosse, kickboxing, muay thai and sambo. Ski mountaineering has been added to the 2026 Winter Olympic list. This year (actually last year because the current event is the postponed 2020 one) the new sports are baseball/softball (previously dropped from 2008), surfing, karate, skateboarding and sport climbing - wrestling was removed.
In case you don't know what muay thai is, it is sometimes called Thai boxing, a martial art characterized by the combined use of fists, elbows, knees and shins. I was once required, at school, to enter the boxing ring and attempt to pummel some equally inept pupil to death - or at least that was what it seemed like. We declined the invitation to hit each other which, as you can imagine, didn't go down well. I didn't care since I hated the school. So quite why an event dedicated to "friendship and respect ... with a view to building a better world" should promote violent activities is beyond me.
The goal of Olympism is to place sport at the service of the harmonious development of humankind, with a view to promoting a peaceful society concerned with the preservation of human dignity. [article 2 of the Fundamental Principles of Olympism in the Olympic Charter]
Sambo is another martial art, a form of wrestling which Wikipedia describes as a "Soviet martial art", so not only violent but also representing a decadent, obsolete nation. Like gladiator fighting - now there's a suggestion for the next Olympics.
Why do I report this if I don't care about the Olympics? I guess because I question the purpose/point of the Olympic Games. If I were the head of the IOC, I'd sub divide the Games. After all, the Winter Olympics (which take place during the Southern Hemisphere summer) are separate. You could have all the violent sports in one Games - the Savage Games (to include archery and the women's 10m air rifle) - and all the sports with endemic drug cheating, e.g. cycling, weightlifting, sprinting, into the Counterfeit Games. You would be left with all the harmless sports which promote genuine world values and encourage the youth of today to undertake healthy, pure, honest endeavour, such as sailing, crown green bowls and pasta making. The Universal Games. I might even watch.
The cheerleaders could be employed on the sidelines of all the events. That's what they do. The New Olympism.
Wednesday, 21 July 2021
Breakfast Music
I was quietly eating my breakfast in Asda and was disturbed by frenetic music being pumped through the store's speakers. It's Asda Radio, which plays continuously. Generally, whilst wandering the shopping aisles and filling my trolley, I don't notice the music. Sitting still, even though reading my newspaper, the music is intrusive.
Why do supermarkets play music? I read one article claiming that stores played "calming music" during the first lockdown; remember the loo roll wars? I'd bet that (a) they didn't analyse the outcomes and (b) it made no difference. Apparently one branch of Morrisons played Roy Orbison’s ‘Anything You Want' at the time; particularly clumsy.
A retail consultancy LS Retail gave "7 reasons why you should play music in your store":
1. Create and differentiate your brand
Are you a carefree, laid back brand? Do you run family-friendly stores with a warm atmosphere? Are you edgy, vibrant and energetic? The tempo, loudness, style of the music you play can help communicate your brand’s personality to customers.
2. Build the right atmosphere
Analyze your store's ambiance, what kind of atmosphere do you want to establish? You could for example create a playful space with high-key pop music, or use slow rhythms to build a relaxed, pensive environment. [ideal for breakfast, I'd say]
3. Create a private space
By masking the sounds of voices and movements, background music helps create a personal space for customers, giving them privacy as they walk around the store, browse the products and make comments to friends or family. [and have breakfast]
4. Set the shoppers’ pace
Studies show that the speed, rhythm and volume of in-store music affects the pace of customer flow through the store. When calm music is playing at a low volume, people tend to wander around the aisles slowly; on the other hand, when energetic, loud songs are playing, people tend to accelerate their pace through the store. Interestingly, the pace of customer flow doesn’t appear to affect sales. [so why are you doing it, exactly?]
5. Shorten waiting times
Music can affect people’s perception of time. A long queue will feel shorter if there is good [?] music playing in the background.
6. Encourage people to shop
Research shows that music can influence what shoppers choose and how much they buy. A 2005 study revealed that people tend to spend more on impulse buys when pleasant music is playing. [I can understand that; punk rock might make the customers run away quickly]
7. Increase productivity
In-store music is not only for the customers, employees and managers benefit from it too. An effective music strategy can be a great tool to boost staff morale, concentration and productivity. In a 2013 research by DJS, 77% of businesses agreed that their staff is more productive when music is playing.
I'll leave you to reflect on this and whether that's a load of old ............
Also this morning and on the same subject, I received the following email from Ipswich Town Football Club:
We've created a page where supporters can vote on the walkout music, the pre kick-off track and the song played when Town score
The options are as follows:
Walkout music
Faithless - Insomnia
Arcade Fire - Wake Up
Lux Aeterna
Kanye West - All Of The Lights
Blur - Song 2
Pre kick-off music
Singing The Blues
Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline
The Beatles - Hey Jude
Goal music
The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
Kungs Vs. Cookin' On 3 Burners - This Girl
Under each section there is also an "OTHER" option, so you can let us know a track suggestion if it is not on our list.
This is definitely in my playground; I've blogged about it before. Let's consider the rationales.
Walkout music - this is for the players, to set the tone of their play right from the start: slow, methodical, patient possession-based buildup or gung-ho attack? I'm pretty sure the fans want the latter, the coach probably the former. I created a Spotify playlist with all the suggested options and here are my opinions:
Faithless - Insomnia: this is from a genre I call "dull rap", not wild or shouty, no effect on the players.
Arcade Fire - Wake Up: much more like it, strong rhythm, however the vocals too passive IMO.
Lux Aeterna: this seems like a misprint.
Kanye West - All Of The Lights: driving rhythm, mixture of modern pop and rap, it's quite possible this would drive my team on, if there's nothing better.
Blur - Song 2: oh yes, this is the one!. Lots of screaming drive. We'll be two goals up after ten minutes. Wait, won't the opposition be stimulated by this too? Mm...
Pre kick-off music: this is just to keep the fans happy while they're waiting for the match to start.
Singing The Blues: this is the classic Guy Mitchell/Tommy Steele 60s song but I'm assuming this is the version sung by the Ipswich Town squad of the Terry Butcher "Golden Era" (FA Cup winners 1978). Forget the rest, this has to get the vote.
Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline: ugh.
The Beatles - Hey Jude: not the Fab Four's best
[On reflection after re-reading the email, this might be the track played as the teams are lining up, awaiting the ref's whistle but I'm still going for option 1]
Goal music
Not relevant, rarely necessary. I'll put Barry Manilow's "Miracle" in the OTHER box:
It's a miracle
A true blue spectacle
The miracle come true
We're together, baby
I was going crazy
Till the miracle came through



