Not sure why

After two years and three weeks, I've decided to get back to blogging.

If I start with football, I lose half my audience. But it's been a bad football few days and getting it off my chest will hopefully improve my gloomy mood. Maybe later.

I recently stopped playing computer games. My much-loved Civilization VI game was superceded, obviously by Civilization VII, and I was excited in anticipation of the February launch. Until it turned out it wouldn't run on either my laptop (expected) or my desktop (unexpected). So a choice of spending substantial money on a new PC or an upgrade or examining whether I wanted/needed to play turn-based strategy games any more. I chose - for the moment - to live without computer gaming.

This decision was in part influenced by my new obsession - chess.

I've played on and off for much of my life - off more than on - at the level of knowing how the pieces move. There was an English chess player named Nigel who became a Grandmaster at the age of 19, eventually ranked number 3 in the world and played a world championship match in 1993 against the legendary Garry Kasparov. That however wasn't me (there are plenty of other well-known Nigels but I'm not going there at the moment) - it was Nigel Short. Of course as a young man I followed the famous Bobby Fisher vs Boris Spassky cold war match, in the same way I followed Ali v Liston in boxing and other iconic sporting battles. Later I followed Kasparov vs Anatoly Karpov in 1985 - I was a sporting nerd. Actually a sporting spectator nerd.

One of the things Fischer was famous for was his queen's gambit opening leading to a stunning world championship victory and this inspired the 2020 Netflix series of the same name - also referencing the cold war - based on a novel by Walter Tevis. This caught my attention and that of millions of others, particularly as the world was in Covid lockdown at the time. Enter (historically) Deep Blue.

Deep Blue was a computer program developed by IBM, which defeated world champion Kasparov in a game in 1997, thus signalling the end of the world. Gradually chess 'engines' improved to today's level where the top Grandmasters simply cannot beat them.

In 2007 the chess.com website was launched and became the 'go to' online platform for ordinary humans to play each other over the internet. So when the dreaded lockdown occurred in 2020, and The Queen's Gambit screened, the stars aligned to create a major "chess boom". I, of course, ignored it as I was starting blogging.

In late 2023, at the Sea Farmers Dive Taproom in Whitstable, a seminal chess match was played. A 13 year old young man, distantly related to me, asked if I played chess. I obviously mentioned I hadn't played for years but knew how the pieces moved. I don't exactly remember why there was a chess board there but anyway we played. I'm going to spare the young man's blushes and not mention the result but the main outcome was that my son (who had been watching) and I decided to join chess.com and we have played each other (and occasionally others) online ever since. Here's the state of our current game:

That's me at the bottom (playing as black) in my Ipswich Town celebratory gear (if it's possible to celebrate relegation). It's my son's move. No helpful suggestions in the comments please - that is officially cheating!

The question remains whether I have the patience to continue blogging regularly. I hope so but comments are very welcome and I'm hoping family members in particular can spread the word. Bye for now.

Match Of The Dull #MOTD

Let's face it, Match Of The Day is one of the dullest TV programmes.

Aired at a time when sensible people are in bed, it shows brief highlights of the Premier League matches of the day. It's so predictable that, if your team was involved in in a drab 0-0 draw (that's you, Chelsea!), you'll know that you're for the ten minutes to midnight slot. Clips are so short that they inevitably give a distorted view of the match.

Then there's the presenter and so-called pundits. Ex footballers who tell us what we already know and can see (if the highlights haven't missed it) - that Spurs don't score in the first half of games, Chelsea need a number 9 (they actually have one but he's on loan in Italy), that James Ward Prowse is the best free kick taker in the world, that Bruno Fernandes is a whinger, etc.

To fill in the time - it's a 90 minute programme with approximately 50 minutes of football - the ex footballer buddies joke with and about each other on sofas, reminiscing about their days on the sacred green turf ("we would never have allowed that behaviour in our day") and generally having nothing new to say.

What would be a better idea would be to show extended highlights of the football, without presenter or pundits ruining it. It's TV, we can use our eyes.

Wait! That's happening tonight? Terrific. I'll be there.

The Bleedin' Obvious

There are some ideas that are so obviously stupid that it's not worth the effort setting out the arguments. Like sending asylum seekers to Rwanda. And Government-appointed football regulators.

The Government's White Paper is driven by a "fan led review". Have you ever seen a football fan, Mr Sunak**? These are morons who, bare chested in the middle of winter, stand up - blocking the view of those seated behind them - and yell obscenities at the opposition (and sometimes their own) players and the officials*. Obviously they should regulate football.

Governments wouldn't dream of interfering in other private businesses. Football isn't special. It's not a cultural icon that needs protection, like the Royal Opera House (don't get me onto that). Go and regulate an industry that's out of control, like electricity providers.

There may be an upside, though. When Kier Starmer, an Arsenal season ticket holder, becomes PM, he might appoint Jeremy Corbyn - another - to be Sports Minister, thus enabling a Golden Age of Gunners success. Let's do it!

* This pretty much accurately describes me in front of the TV watching football. Without the bare chest, obviously. Many years ago I stopped taking my young sons to football matches, because of the foul language and obnoxious behaviour. That of the fans too.

** I'm guessing that's a No.

Seven things to be hopeful for Arsenal

1. They are top of the league (as of this date: 19th February 2023), two points clear and with a game in hand over the two Manchester clubs

2. After a difficult game away to Leicester, (25th February) they have a promising run of matches in March:

• home to Everton (revenge)
• home to Bournemouth
• away to Fulham
• home to Crystal Palace

3. Jorginho is a key new addition and could play alongside Partey if needed

4. They are 13 points clear of fifth place Newcastle, so a top 4 place (and qualification for the 2023/2024 Champions League) is a strong probability

5. Their final match of the season is at home to Wolves, who may be relegated by then

6. Emile Smith Rowe is back and he can score goals

7. Gabriel Jesus will be back soon

Fellow Gunners supporters, there is hope of a first Premier League title for 19 years!

Good joke from Wicked Uncle

I mixed up “Jacuzzi” and “Yakuza” by accident. Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

😜

No more Warwick Drive

The Queen's Speech included a proposal to 'allow' residents to choose the name of the street on which they live.

What could possibly go wrong?

I'll tell you what could go wrong. Boaty McBoatface.

You'll recall that, in 2016, the great British public was given the opportunity to choose the name for a new polar scientific research ship. They chose Boaty. The Government said "not on our watch" and named the ship Sir David Attenborough. Now, there are those who believe that the honourable thing for Sir Dave to do would have been to have said "no thanks, McBoaty will do just fine". There is actually no record that he actually cares one way or the other.

I live on a street called Warwick Drive. To my knowledge, this little part of Cornwall has no connection with the town of Warwick, nor the Earl of Warwick, nor Jeffrey Archer's William Warwick books, or Warwick Davis, so how this came about is unknown (at least to me). Perhaps there was an online poll and my co-residents - or their ancestors - chose this name. Maybe one of them had just been to Warwick Castle. Anyway, we shall have to endure this inappropriate name no longer. Campaigning will soon begin to choose a better name. I'm lobbying for Just Chilling and I have my social media campaign all ready to go. No Drive, Avenue, Road, Street, Gardens, Grove, Highway or Strip. Just Just Chilling. Get ready for a surge in readership!

It has to be said, in the interests of accuracy,that the proposal actually promises local people “more of a say over changing street names”. So not quite full control to the citizenry. And how frequently can we change names? If we choose Donald McTrumpFace and he goes to  jail, can we change please? Estate agents will be licking their lips at the prospect of new attributes for their properties: "large mansion in St Austell with three street name votes".

Perhaps the UK Government could reflect on the possibility that "levelling up" might just as easily result in levelling down. And stop pandering to the populace! Get on with important things like sending refugees to Rwanda, building new nuclear submarines and declaring war. On second thoughts .........