The Perfect Barber

There's a New Guy at my barber's.

There are very few things I seriously dislike but going to the barber's is one. More precisely, it's having to go to the barber's. I would love to have a head of hair just like this:

But no - I have to trudge along every few weeks to have what little hair I have snipped off. When I do so, I have the following aims:

• take as much off as possible in as little time as possible
• no chitchat
• forget all your training; just cut!

There's a woman barber who thinks she's a hairdresser, an artist. She's full of "I've just trimmed those two hairs so that you can see the gentle sweep of....". I avoid her like the plague. Which is why I was delighted to see New Guy today. he fulfilled all the requirements, as above. I didn't time him (I'm thinking of taking a stopwatch next time and saying to Lady Barber "we stop after five minutes; anything left over will have to do") but it can't have been much more than 5 minutes, I'd say.

I'm so glad I'm not a woman; having to deal with those long, flowing locks would be a nightmare. Although I suppose you could go all Annie Lennox

Anyway, thanks New Guy. No tip though. 

See you in a few weeks; I'll be bringing the stopwatch.

Change of Heart

I was going to have another rant at the striking doctors. But my heart wasn't in it.

I was going to muse on whether Rachel Reeves has been having us on by leaking supposed plans to break the manifesto pledge, just so that she can triumphantly announce "no pledges will be broken" in her budget speech. But my heart isn't in it.

I was going to mock the report of the cricket club banning New Forest ponies from their pitch, referencing my experiences playing golf in Australia with kangaroos on the fairway, but I know there are readers who think I over-emphasise sport. So I didn't.

Instead, referring back to yesterday's TV series review, I enjoyed Andrea Mara's tale so much that I decided to get one of her other books and read it.

Which I did. And am.

 I'll let you know.

Crazy Carrie

All those years ago, when Homeland launched, then carried on into season 2, then further and further until it seemed like it would never end, Brody died and Carrie went crazy.

Now there's a new Crazy Carrie, the protagonist of an outstanding TV series on Sky (which by the way is now owned by Comcast and Rupert Murdoch is not involved) called All Her Fault.

A child goes missing and the series - based on a book of that name by Andrea Mara - is a thriller which, alongside the search for him, follows the dramatic effects on his family as they become ever more paranoid. There are two particular moments of brilliance: after a cliffhanging ending to episode 6, E7 is given over totally to Carrie's background and the circumstances leading to her abducting Milo. It enables the viewer to take a deep breath after the shocks of the previous episode and adds greater dimensions to the mystery. In the final episode the twist in the tale is revealed, with devastating effect. There are feminist elements to the story in its treatment of the characters.

The production and the acting are tremendous and it's the best series I've seen for a while.

I'm not going to go into any spoilers, just tell you - if you're a TV addict, watch it; if you're a book person who loves a good mystery, Mara's book is probably for you (I haven't read it). 

If you take the plunge and read or watch, let me know what you think.

Footy updates 2025/23

How did my forecasts fare this weekend? (And ChatGPT's)

Arsenal Women 2 Chelsea Women 2 CGPT: 1-2 Result: 1-1

Arsenal suffered from two refereeing decisions but stay in the hunt for the league title

Tottenham 0 Manchester United 0 CGPT: 2-1 Result: 2-2

Spurs pretty good away but completely unpredictable at home

Wycombe 1 Leyton Orient 1 CGPT: 2-1 Result: 4-1

Signs of improvement

Swansea 1 Ipswich 2 CGPT: 1-1 Result: 1-4

We seem to have got a settled team and are getting the rewards

Wrexham 1 Charlton 2 CGPT: 1-1 Result: 1-0

Disappointing, dropping below Ipswich

Infinity 0 Whitstable Town 3 (FA Vase 2nd round - Whitstable are the holders) CGPT: 1-3 Result: 1-2

Into the 3rd round

Sunderland 0  Arsenal 1 CGPT: 0-3 Result: 2-2

Disappointing to concede equaliser in the last minute but still top of the table

Correct results: 4 out of 7 (ChatGPT: 2)

Correct scores: 0 out of 7 (ChatGPT:0 )

Match score this season so far: usedtobecroquetman 3 Chat GPT 2

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Upcoming midweek games (international break):

Whitstable v Bearsted

Gillingham v Wycombe (EFL Trophy)

Bayern Munich Women v Arsenal Women (Champions League)

Footy updates 2025/22

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Recent matches:

Slavia Prague 0 Arsenal 3

Charlton 1 West Brom 0

Ipswich 1 Watford 1

Tottenham 4 FC Copenhagen 0

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My forecasts for this weekend: (and ChatGPT's):

Arsenal Women 2 Chelsea Women 2 CGPT: 1-2

Tottenham 0 Manchester United 0 CGPT: 2-1

Wycombe 1 Leyton Orient 1 CGPT: 2-1

Swansea 1 Ipswich 2 CGPT: 1-1

Wrexham 1 Charlton 2 CGPT: 1-1

Infinity 0 Whitstable Town 3 (FA Vase 2nd round - Whitstable are the holders) CGPT: 1-3

Sunderland 0  Arsenal 1 CGPT: 0-3

Thanks, Tofiq

I had a bad day yesterday. It rained incessantly, so much so that I decided to skip my usual visit to Tesco where, lacking any shopping needs, I would have bought my newspaper and had a coffee whilst reading it. As soon as I saw the rain I knew that, come the evening, I would get no satellite signal to enable me to watch Arsenal in the Champions League. Meaning I had to get the match on my phone and cast it to the TV - keeping myself away from other notification channels so that I wouldn't know when a goal was scored before it appeared on my - delayed by a minute or so because wifi streaming is behind the live action - screen.

I do realise this is very much a first-world bad day.

Then there's chess. I'm in the middle of a game against my son and I don't know what my plan is. Or I have too many plans and can't stick to one. Chess is like boxing, in two ways. The first is the Mike Tyson way: "everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth". So I can't get too aggressive or that'll happen when I'm least expecting it. Which leaves me with the other option: rope-a-dope, made famous by Muhammad Ali. It’s a tactic where a fighter leans back on the ropes, covers up, and lets the opponent punch themselves out. The idea is to absorb or deflect blows, conserve your own energy, and then strike back once the other guy’s exhausted. Ali used it brilliantly against George Foreman in the 1974 “Rumble in the Jungle.” Foreman threw himself into endless power shots while Ali just soaked it up and talked to him — “Is that all you got?” — until Foreman was spent. Then Ali knocked him out.

That's what I'm hoping Dan will try.

Anyway, I'm back on track today, in my usual post-shower routine: shop, drink coffee, read paper, catch up on my chess games, do chess puzzles (which doesn't seem to improve me), solve (hopefully) the Times Quick Cryptic crossword, solve puzzles on the New York Times Games app - Wordle (got it in 4 today), Connections (got it with just one error) and Strands (always successful but try to do it without hints).

That takes me to about noon.

Which is when I get to thinking about whether I have any inspiration to write a blog post. And today I want to tell you about Tofiq Bahramov.

Tofiq changed history. Every English man or woman knows that our crowning glory was winning the World Cup in 1966. Which happened because Tofiq made an error. He was a retired footballer and a qualified referee from Azerbaijan (then in the Soviet Union) who was the linesman in the Final, when England played West Germany. He ruled that Geoff Hurst's infamous shot had crossed the line and was therefore a goal. But it actually hadn't, as shown in modern replay analysis.

Today, Tofiq is remembered by Azerbaijan's national stadium being the Tofiq Bahramov Republican Stadium in his honour.

If you think that our country is in a sad, sorry state today with widespread gloom and despair, just imagine how much worse it could have been if Tofiq had got his decision right 😧😧😧

Not such a bad day after all.