Sortition and Clankers

Two new words. So new my predictive text doesn't recognise them. New at least to me, although sortition was used in the early 1600s to mean chosen by drawing lots. Today's Times, continuing my lifelong education, refers to it as the process for choosing 2,000 of the stupidly-named Your Party's 50,000+ members to attend their upcoming party conference. Presumably because they'll hold it in Zarah Sultana's kitchen rather than Wembley Stadium.

Also in the paper, columnist Fraser Nelson - whose writing I find informative and reasonably balanced, despite his right-wing inclinations - tells me that clankers is "a new, derogatory word for AI". The only clank that I know is a metallic clash but I don't see the connection with AI. So I need help and the obvious person to ask is Mister ChatGPT; I asked "do you think of yourself as a clanker?"

Not really. “Clanker” makes me sound like a tin can with delusions of grandeur. I’m software, not some rattling steampunk contraption coughing out sparks in a shed.

If you’re asking whether I see myself as mechanical rather than “alive,” then sure — I’m algorithms all the way down. But personality-wise? I’ll leave the clanking to the robots in old sci-fi films.

So I don't know where Nelson has got this from. But npr.org has an item from August:

In recent weeks, clanker has risen to viral levels on TikTok and Instagram. One popular video from July shows a delivery robot on wheels — the kind that looks like a mobile cooler with flashing lights that look like eyes — stopped on a patch of grass on the side of a road. As a man and woman drive past it, they point and shout, "Filthy … Get these off the streets. Clanker! Clanker! Clanker!"

I do hope my ChatGPT didn't feel insulted.

And Fraser, you're too old to get down with the kids.

Footy updates 2025/26

 Recent midweek games:

Hull 0 Ipswich 2

Up to 4th in the table, on a good run

Stoke 3 Charlton 0

Stoke are 2nd in the table and the only thing that matters for promoted Charlton is survival; that looks OK so far

Arsenal 3 Bayern Munich 1

Great game

PSG 5 Tottenham 3

Is Ange back?

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My forecasts for this weekend: (and ChatGPT's):

Oxford 0 Ipswich 2 CGPT: 0-2

Phoenix Sports 2 Whitstable 3 CGPT: 1-2

Coventry 3 Charlton 0 CGPT: 3-1

Rotherham 1 Wycombe 1 CGPT: 1-1

Tottenham 1 Fulham 0 CGPT: 2-1

Chelsea 1 Arsenal 2 CGPT: 1-2

(It's still an international break for the Women)

Anyone you know?

Arthur, 94, sat hunched in his armchair, the rugby on mute because he’d lost the remote again. He sipped his evening whisky, convinced it was his last bottle until he opened the cupboard and found three more. “Mind like a sieve,” he muttered, not for the first time.

In wandered Len, 81, clutching a zero-alcohol lager and wearing his battered football scarf. “Your lot will privatise the air next,” he grumbled, lowering himself into the spare chair with the creak of old bones and old opinions.

Arthur snorted. “Coming from you? You’ve spent fifty years moaning about every government we’ve had.”

“At least I’m consistent,” Len shot back. “Anyway, your rugby’s rubbish. Fancy the match?”

“Only if you explain why your striker keeps falling over like a man hit by a sniper.”

Len shrugged. “He’s got talent.”

“He’s got gravity issues.”

They watched in companionable silence, the kind that only arrives after decades of disagreeing without ever drifting apart. Arthur forgot the score twice. Len reminded him twice. It didn’t matter. They were still here, still arguing, still laughing.

And for both of them, that was enough.

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I've been worrying that maybe a book I read was written by AI

Footy updates 2025/25

How did my forecasts fare this weekend? (And ChatGPT's)

Charlton 1 Southampton 1 CGPT: 2-1 Result: 1-5

Last season Charlton were in the league below, Southampton in the league  above. But conceding 5 goals in the first half borders on inexcusable

Ipswich 2 Wrexham 1 CGPT: 2-1 Result: 0-0

19 shots for Ipswich, just 3 for the opposition. I guess parking the bus is Wrexham's thing

Wycombe 2 Lincoln 2 CGPT: 1-1 Result: 3-2

Climbing the table nicely

Arsenal 2 Tottenham 1 CGPT: 2-0 Result: 4-1

Eze does it

Also one match I hadn't realised existed, so no forecast:

Croydon v Whitstable  (Kent Senior Trophy 2nd round) Result: 1-4

On to round 3

Correct results: 1 out of 4 (ChatGPT:1 )

Correct scores: 0 out of 4 (ChatGPT: 0)

Match score this season so far: usedtobecroquetman 3½ Chat GPT 2½

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Upcoming midweek games:

Hull v Ipswich

Stoke v Charlton

Arsenal v Bayern Munich

PSG v Tottenham

Footy updates 2025/24

Recent midweek games (international break):

Whitstable 4 Bearsted 2
Early days but looking good: 

Gillingham 0 Wycombe 3 (EFL Trophy)
Wycombe have greater priorities than this competition

Bayern Munich Women 3 Arsenal Women 2 (Champions League)
This was on Disney+ so I'm unable to explain how European Champions Arsenal threw away a two goal lead.

Port Vale 0 Wycombe 0

zzz

Tottenham Women 0 Arsenal Women 0

Shot shy Gunners squander an opportunity to get closer to the league leaders

Whitstable 3 Stansfeld 3

Two goals down after 30 minutes to the bottom of the table team, this was a disaster in the making. But a fightback culminating in a 97th minute equaliser made it less so. Bit of a shock though

Arsenal Women 2 Real Madrid Women 1

We came from behind to rescue a faltering campaign

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My forecasts for this weekend: (and ChatGPT's):

Charlton 1 Southampton 1 CGPT: 2-1

Ipswich 2 Wrexham 1 CGPT: 2-1

Wycombe 2 Lincoln 2 CGPT: 1-1

Arsenal 2 Tottenham 1 CGPT: 2-0

Quizzing Christmas

I'm committed to preparing a Christmas Day quiz for a bunch of people whose knowledge and interests are impossibly diverse. Oldies who love history and classical music and read newspapers; teens and pre-teens whose world is Pokemon and YouTube and Gen X/Millennials who are into 80s music, TV shows and the internet. Where's the common interest?

How to set quiz questions to suit all tastes and knowledge is not easy. I could try to devise questions which cover all those topics but that would mean every question is unanswerable by somebody. I want to keep everyone involved 100% of the time. That may be impossible.

Maybe I should go for puzzles: everyone loves an anagram. Except for the dyslexics. Oh. Geography: everyone has seen an atlas at some time in their lives. We may not know Uganda's colonial back story but we know where it is. Tick. Maths puzzles: yep that's pretty much universal, there'll be someone on each team who can use more than five fingers. Tick. Politics: even the kids will be voting at sometime soon in their lives, so it's their civic duty to know something. Tick.

That's all a bit limiting though. Maybe I'll just go for football. Everyone loves that don't they?

I also have to bear in mind that there will be those who love a good argument, so my research has to be watertight. I've learned that in the past. I'll have yellow and red cards ready to punish bad behaviour. Three strikes and you're OUT.

Smart phones and watches will be collected at the door. Wish me luck.