Daily press performance

Turned on my TV to watch some YouTube video, caught a minor front bench automoton lecturing (surely lecturers are the only people who illustrate their points with slides) the hoi polloi on the government's latest thoughts. An art form in which the robot (with almost human controllers) is accompanied by a Greek chorus, to music by Mikis Theodorakis.

Automoton:
   "First slide please"

   "This shows that the situation is still bad and therefore we must"

Chorus:
   "Stay alert!"

Automoton:
   "Next slide please"

   "This shows a graph and some numbers which you, the masses, are too think to understand; all you need to know is"

Chorus:
   "Stay home!"

Human controller:
"No, minister, that was yesterday's slogan"

Automoton:
"Ah, go home!"

Human controller:
"Not quite, minister, things have changed"

Automoton:
   "Ah yes, the government has decided you can all"

   "Go to someone else's home; as long as there is only one person there. If someone else turns up you have to run away in order to "

Chorus:
   "Control the virus!"

Automoton:
   "Next slide please"

   "As you can see, it is now possible for us all to go to work"

Human controller:
   "Well, minister, it'as not as simple as that...."

Automoton:
   "Yes, well, most of you should not go to work and should"

Chorus:
   "Stay home!"

Automoton:
   "Next slide please"

   "We now have these 5 threat levels to tell us whether a terror attack is....er no, whether Chinese bat flu is likely to hit us in a second wave if we don't"

Chorus:
   "Stay alert!"

Automoton:
   "Let's hear from Nigel in Cornwall"

Nigel, on the beach with 100 friends in Cornwall:
   "Please, my dear government, all this is totally unnecessary. Do you think we are idiots? (don't answer that, minister) Every day is the same bad, sad news accompanied by suspect data and approximation curves. And you and your colleagues patronise us with drivel slogans and defensiveness statistics. Just give out the numbers in a press release and go home...or actually go and do some work...if you're allowed to"

Automoton:
   "Well thank you, Nigel, very good points, I can think we can all agree that we need to"

Chorus:
   "Save lives!"

I think we probably can agree on that.