Corbyn and May, pigeon fanciers

You heard it here! In 2018, the first parliamentary pigeon race (Lords v Commons, never expressed as Commons v Lords, of course) since 1928 took place. Theresa May sponsored (what does that actually mean in this context? Bought the pigeons their flying gear? Knitted them new coats?) 5 pigeons, the best of which came in 77th place (things still going well then, Theresa). Jeremy Corbyn's bird came 8th (more or less where his party came in the 2019 general election). Take that, wheat-runner!

Corbyn apparently once tabled a House of Commons motion calling for mankind to be wiped out by an asteroid [Ed: named Boris?] as punishment for using pigeons as flying bombs during the war (s****ing on the Germans?).

Despite promising not to, Nick Clegg's bird teamed up with May's birds and agreed a deal on charging spectators to watch, but couldn't keep up and got lost, never to be seen again.

(OK, that last sentence I made up, but the rest is true - I think)

Quiz question: do you know who said "The first thing I ever loved was a pigeon"? (Answer at the bottom of this post)

The website of the Royal Pigeon Racing Association (I know that sounds like something else I made up but truth can be, and in this case is, stranger than fiction) tells me that famous pigeon fanciers included Elvis Presley, Walt Disney, Claude Monet, Clint Eastwood, Pablo Picasso, Nicola Tesla and The Sultan of Jahore. Who knew?

Anyone know the world speed record for a racing pigeon? Nope, but Wikipedia tells me they can fly up to 125mph. Wow. A Chinese businessman broke the world record for a purchase of a pigeon at 310,000 Euros in 2013. Named Bolt (who else?) he was bred in Belgium (the bird, not the businessman). Apparently Belgian-bred pigeons are the fastest! So that's what those Belgians do all day.

The Telegraph of 30 May reported that "Pigeon racing will be the first spectator sport to return to Britain as lockdown is eased", on the basis that thousands of people on the route travelled by the 4,000 birds from Leicester to Barnsley will see them ("spectate"!) flying over their streets and houses. The race took place on 1 June; no news as to whether Corbyn's flyer has trained on.

Quiz answer: Mike Tyson