The thing is, he is one of two people I know and like that try - with some success - to wind me up by describing the Premier League as the First Division and the league that Ipswich Town are in - League One - as the Third Division. This nomenclature went out in 1992, guys! Are you old or just annoying?
Anyhow, barracking aside, what relation, if any, is Trevor to me?
Applying a degree of logic: first of all we are the same generation so normally that would mean some kind of brother or cousin. Maybe brother-in-law-in-law? I've never understood the concepts of first/second cousins or once/twice removed, but perhaps that could be part of the title? How about "grand-something"?
The thing about "in-law" is that there is a clear implication of a legal status. So that's out. Narrowing down.
Definitely not cousins; a legally defined term I think. No consanguinity.
Which leaves me with something like brother twice removed - one removal for down a generation, from me to my daughter-in-law - and once for up a generation from her to her father.
"This is my brother twice removed" is therefore how I might introduce Tony - the other friend who refuses to acknowledge any football in the last 28 years - when we meet someone in the Britannia Inn (very soon hopefully). That is either a conversation piece or a conversation-stopper. Depending on how many drinks the various parties have had.
I therefore consulted Mr Jimmy Wales, aka Wikipedia. Which we know always tells the truth. This tells me that Trevor and I are co-fathers-in-law. Not sure I think much of that; it makes us sound like a couple, with responsibility for our offspring.
My solution for this problem is: brothers-in-arms. It implies shared values and a willingness to stand up for each other. I like it. I could refer you to the Dire Straits song but it really doesn't help - no hyphens. So just my word for it.
How about it, Trevor, are we brothers-in-arms?
Who knew football could be so profound?
That is a most convoluted and fascinating trip around relationships. I’ve just read it to Trevor who was greatly amused and asserts that he doesn’t do it to wind you up.
ReplyDeleteI think however he’s having Jacob Rees-Mogg moment remembering the days of his youth in the last century. As for MiceElf I know not the first thing about divisions or multipliers or leagues, seven league boots or otherwise, or premiers other than the late, great Attlee, and, although he gets quite vexed about pounds and ounces and calls them Brexit weights he clearly sticks to arcane terms in that game about which I know nothing.
Anyway he likes Brothers in Arms, but as I used to call my DiL’s mum my co-granny, how about co-grandpas?