I picked up a rum-looking biscuit
Shall I throw it away or risk it?
Don't be daft, you can't die
from eating a pie
You're just being too pessimistic
I decided to take a big chance
It seemed OK at a glance
It looked a bit off
and I started to cough
And ended the night in a trance
In the trance I felt a bit pale
I dreamed I was inside a whale
It was very dark
but I saw Noah's Ark
And here is my animal tale
Trying hard to catch a mouse
I said "no, no,
Go away, dodo,
It's eating that horrid woodlouse"
I once met a big ugly toad
I thought he was crossing the road
"Mr Toad, here's a log"
"Don't be daft, I'm a frog
And this is my humble abode"
The louse and the mouse and the frog
and the dodo, all went for a jog
They watched a black cat
keep an eye on a rat
But forgot to watch out for the dog!
I've got no more beasts for you
They've all gone back to the zoo
They're met with confetti
from a just-married yeti
Now I'm off to bed, toodaloo.
Eat your heart out, Edward Lear.
Even more nonsense and rubbish.
ReplyDeleteA mother of seven called Kate,
Suffered greatly from “lockdown” weight
She snacked all day long,
She knew it was wrong,
But she did have a lot on her plate.
A clever old chap from Prestatyn,
Taught his pet dog to speak in dog Latin.
So now his pet Chow,
Instead of “Bow wow!’
Is “Amo, Amas, Amat” -ing.
*
On Sundays I worship online.
The broadband connection is fine.
I sort out my hair
My desk and my chair
Get candles, some bread and some wine.
The music and liturgy cheer
And faces of friends who appear
Are close to my heart.
Although we're apart
Our prayers are the same. And we're here.
*
I’m tired of living in quarantine
See my future dissolve into Might have been’
‘Stop whinging’ says Gran
‘Be creative, You can
Build a braver new world with your Plasticine!’
*
There was an old woman in lockdown,
Who remarked with a moan and a big frown
I’ve too much to do
Let alone queue
So piss off and let me sit down.
*
There was an MP in Westminster
Who said ‘I could not have been skinter’
They shut down my job
I haven’t a bob
Not even enough for a Ginster