At this level

"At this level, you've got to stick those away". If I had a pound for every time I've heard a football commentator say that, I'd be a rich man.

For those readers unfamiliar with footy jargon, it means "he should have scored". But what does "at this level" mean? Is there a level at which this doesn't apply? If your 10 year old daughter misses an open goal in her under 11s game, surely you'd be yelling the same thing. I know, my readers are too genteel to yell. And mostly too old to have 10 year old children. And favour middle class sports like golf and croquet. And knitting.

I'm writing this whilst watching RC Lens playing Paris Saint-Germain in Ligue 1 in France. On TV, obviously. The commentator, whose name I will not reveal [actually I don't know who he is], as well as uttering this meaningless phrase and which stimulated me to write this, has just described the Lens shirt colour as "blood and gold". What? Did I hear correctly? Apparently so; Wikipedia tells me "Its nickname, sang et or (blood and gold), comes from its traditional colours of red and gold." Here it is: 

I know, it's trivial. But not for Lens supporters - their team, newly promoted to Ligue 1, has just beaten the uber-rich champions in their first  ever match at the top level. So the blood beats the gold. I bet you wish you had been watching. Got yer there.

I could fill a book with commentators' gibberish. Someone probably has.

Ex footballer Jamie Redknapp: “Will Chelsea qualify with ease? I think they will, but it won’t be easy.”

Theo Walcott: “I’ve been consistent in patches this season.”

Here's my favourite. You'll love this: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got 11 Dicks on the field."

There, I've got that off my chest.