Turkey revenge

In the United States, a fluffy white turkey called Corn refused to pardon a fluffed up orange turkey called Donald, saying "No! No pardon! YOU'RE FIRED!".

What kind of a name is Corn anyway? That would be like me calling my sons Fish and Chips. There are in fact plenty of people called Chips but I couldn't find any named Fish. Although there is a character called Fishcake in Philip Reeve's Hungry City Chronicles.

In Russia, a tiger called Buffalo refused to pardon a steroid-enhanced balding tiger called Vlad, saying "No! No pardon! YOU'RE RETIRED!"

In Belarus, an ostrich called Lizard refused to pardon a marmite-enhanced red ostrich called Alex, saying "No! No pardon! YOU'RE UNHIRED!"

In Cornwall, an old man refused to pardon a pasty called Pete, saying "No! No pardon! YOU'RE TIRED!"

In better news, an old lady pardoned a flirtatious fly called Felicity, which she had swallowed. I don't know why.

The fly pardoned a gangling spider called Sid, who had been hired to eat her.

The spider pardoned a pretty little bird called Betsy, who flew threateningly close.

The bird pardoned a snooty cat called Clarence, who was jumping up trying to catch her.

The cat pardoned a menacing dog called Dennis, who growled at him.

The dog pardoned a lumbering cow called Cordelia, who was a bully.

The cow pardoned a handsome horse called Hezekiah, because he was kicking her.

And they all refused to pardon the old lady for starting the fake news story in the first place, saying "No! No pardon! YOU'RE WEIRD!"