The Census

Census Day in the UK is 21 March 2021. Got my form. 65 questions to answer. If you have 5 people in your household, that will be 269 questions. You should manage that just in time for the next census, in 2031. Like painting the Forth Bridge.

So, starting. Question H1: who usually lives here? Tick all that apply. There are 10 options. Although option 1 "Me" is the obvious one, I diligently check all the others in case there is a "family of swallows nesting in the eaves" option. Question H4: who else is staying here overnight on 21 March 2021? Ah, so maybe I'm not supposed to do this yet. I go back to the cover page, which clearly states "complete the census on 21 March 2021 or as soon as possible after". Yep, that's me not bothering to read the instructions.

9 days to go....

Censuses (is that the correct plural? Censi?) have been conducted in the UK since 1841 - or 1801 if you count unofficial versions. And you thought it was the Domesday Book in 1086! According to the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, William The Conqueror "sent he his men over all England into each shire; commissioning them to find out 'How many hundreds of hides were in the shire, what land the king himself had, and what stock upon the land; or, what dues he ought to have by the year from the shire.'" So a cow census really.

Two hundred years later, the Hundred Rolls included enquiries commissioned by Edward I to record the adult population for judicial and taxation purposes. A proper census.

dailytelegraph.com.au tells me that "in Babylon in about 3800BC a team of men headed out to tally up the numbers of men, women, children, livestock, slaves, butter, milk, honey and vegetables in the kingdom. The primary reason was to figure out how much food was needed to feed the population, but the figures also gave an idea of how many men were available for military service and how much they could be taxed without starving them." So, frankly, we were a bit behind in the census stakes. But, given today's sensitivities, I bet there won't be a 2021 question about slaves.

Who decided the census would be every ten years? And why is it always in a year ending in one? [I'm not even going to mention Tottenham Hotspur here - be quiet, Simon!]  There are no answers to this; someone tossed a coin.

I checked the headline facts from the 2011 UK census, to see if there were any interesting revelations. Nope.

Censuses exist to allow the government to control our lives even more than they already do. 47% of UK households keep pigeons! Let's put a pigeon tax in the next budget.

in nine days time I shall do my civic (and legal) duty and complete the online form. You will be utterly relieved to know that I shall not again post about censuses! Except maybe in ten year's time. Something to look forward to, readers....