Should I get a cat?

I've been secretly (I haven't admitted this to anyone) thinking about getting a cat. I have no idea why; I don't really like cats. I thought I'd consider the Pros and Cons of this.

Pro:

1. Cats are temperamentally much like me; a cat and I could live together in a spirit of mutual separatism, a bit like the British and the French - wary of each other but too lazy to do anything about it
2. Cats need minimum looking after
3. Cats do not generally generate mountains of hairs, as do dogs
4. Company

Con:

1. I don't want cat poo in my house - would need to be a self-cleaning cat
2. Reluctant to spend my pension on cat food - would need to be a self-feeding cat; rodents, neighbours' cat food, etc.
3. Problems with kennels or whatever when I'm away
4. However (see Pro #3) cats do make me feel itchy; this could be psychosomatic
5. I worry that, given my low boredom threshold, I might lose interest

Doesn't sound as though this is going to work. Shame. Could I just rent a cat? Is that even a thing? If not, someone needs to see the business opportunity. Maybe a holographic cat.

I will seek advice on the matter and get back to you.

Current thinking; Con #5 is the clincher.

If I did get a cat, what brand should I go for? Karen Wu Ph.D. in Psychology Today reports on a 2019 research project (actually a survey of cat owners so not sure that's 'research'), from which I quote selectively:

Most aggressive toward (human) family members: Angora

Least aggressive toward family members: British Shorthair

Most aggressive toward strangers: Angora

Least aggressive toward strangers: British Shorthair

Most aggressive toward other cats: Angora

Least aggressive toward other cats: Persian and Norwegian Forest Cat

Most shy toward strangers: Russian Blue

Least shy toward strangers: Burmese

Most shy towards novel objects: Russian Blue

Least shy towards novel objects: Cornish Rex

Most likely to seek human contact: Devon Rex

Least likely to seek human contact: British Shorthair

Most active: Cornish Rex

Least active: British Shorthair

Most likely to suck wool: Turkish Van, Maine Coon

Least likely to suck wool: Russian Blue

Most likely to groom excessively: Burmese

Least likely to groom excessively: Neva Masquerade

Most likely to have a behavioural problem: Oriental breeds, Persian

Least likely to have a behavioural problem: British Shorthair, European Shorthair

This is harder than I thought.