I am being surveilled. Monitored, snooped on. Sitting next to my TV in my lounge, staring defiantly at me, is a small video camera. Given to me as a present by my son. "You're getting old, Dad, and I want to make sure you're OK". What kind of son gives his dad a surveillance device as a birthday present? Whatever happened to socks, a Guns N' Roses T shirt, a copy of the Jeremy Corbyn Annual?
OK, I get it. And I voluntarily gave my son the password to access the device in cases where he hasn't heard from me for ... a week, maybe. Using the app, it just shows live pictures of my massage chair, with or without me on it. It's not exactly a foolproof system, as I might be on the loo, in bed, doing some gardening or cooking. To be sure, I would need one of the little devices in every room in the house - surveillance gone mad. However, it's something. I trust my son not to watch my every movement, although on Friday nights, when he might come home the worse for wear after an evening with mates in the pub, I give it a wave - and sometimes other signals - every now and again. And I generally make sure that, if engaged in some undesirable 'old man' activity - scratching my armpits, picking my nose, strangling the neighbour's cat or reading the Guardian - I do it in the camera's blind spot (have you found that yet, son?)
Which brings me to Matt Hancock. Does he have a son who has given him one of these devices? If the picture of our esteemed Secretary of State for Health in a meeting with one of his 'closest advisers', in his office, was taken from the office CCTV, why on earth would anyone have CCTV in their office? Is this a government thing; do they all have CCTV? Everyone knows that CCTV can be hacked so it doesn't sound like a great idea. And, if so, did Hancock know he was being watched? What a fecking eejut. First rule of being surveilled: find the blind spot.
I believe this is the system which the civil service had installed in the Prime Minster's office:
It seems the Hancock spy camera was hidden in a smoke alarm. Have you got one of those yet?
ReplyDeleteStill it’s time DoorMatt has finally succumbed to pressure. I think his Mrs is well rid of him. Feel sorry for his children though. They will have to face their friends at school with all this stuff in every paper and social media.
Anyway, practise your cheery waves. Does it have sound too? You could send motivational slogans back to the password holder - or write them on cardboard and hold them up to the camera.
I believe it was also to check on your home while you’re away!
ReplyDeleteAnd it can be remotely swivelled to check other angles, can’t it?
I imagined you hadn’t actually set it up, so it’s all moot!
Your caring & concerned son/Big Brother