It's the Annual General Meeting of the Joint Committee of the People's Front of Cornwall (PFC) and the Cornish People's Front (CPF).
Nige (PFC Leader): All right, but apart from the crowded beaches, the traffic jams, caravans, beer cans, public disorder, queues, pollution, noisy groups of teenagers and Covid-19, what have the Tourists ever done for us?
PFC Member: Brought money?
Nige: Oh, money? SHUT UP!
PFC Member: Jobs. And people.
Mandy (Brian's mum, possibly a CPF spy): Who are all those people?
Brian (as in Life Of): A few friends, popped by for a second.
Mandy: Popped by? Swarmed by is more like it. There's a multitude out there.
210,000 of them this year. I know Cornwall needs tourists but what a relief it is when kids return to school, the Tourists depart and we return to ... peace and quiet. And parking spaces. And restaurant bookings.
Always look on the bright side of life
De-dum, de-dum de-dum de-dum
Nige: If you want to join the People's Front of Cornwall, you have to really hate the Tourists.
Brian: I do!
Nige: How much?
Brian: A lot!
Nige: Right, you're in.
Shan’t come to Cornwall then...
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