He came to prominence in the public eye in the 1960s and 70s as someone who - with his team - capped burning oil wells, particularly (to British attention) in the North Sea. The "go-to" guy of the oil industry, even appearing in Kuwait after the first Gulf War at the age of 75, putting out the oil well fires set by the retreating Iraqi army.
Today's go-to guy, in UK politics at least, is Michael Gove. Need someone to run a difficult government department? He's your man. Even after shafting his boss (now the PM) in the leadership election following David Cameron's resignation. Gove, thought of as a reformer who can think 'outside the box', fought the teachers in the Education Department, got rid of Chris Grayling's harebrained scheme for book limits for prisoners at Justice, jointly 'won' the EU referendum and told us we can't buy petrol or diesel cars after 2040. And was mates with Dominic Cummings.
He now has a new department. Previously called the Housing, Communities and Local Government department, it's now the Levelling Up, Housing and Communities department - possibly a prime candidate as the worst ever departmental name. 370 years after the original Levellers movement in the English Civil War, we're all going to level up. I think that means we can all become Queen, run Asda or buy a Caribbean island.
What next for Michael? Could he become King? The monarchy surely needs his reforming zeal; they've definitely been down-levelling of late. As a mercenary, maybe he could have a go at leading the Labour Party. Level them up and they might win an election in time to welcome electric cars in 2040. Mostly I'm thinking of Ipswich Town, though. Football is littered with go-to managers such as Sam Allardyce, who is the person of choice when your team is stuck in the relegation zone. Could Gove level us up to the Premier League? A win-win for Ipswich and the country, perhaps. Yes please.
I have a plan to level up Gove. Find a grave yard. Dig a big hole fill it with all his barmy policies. Make him level it up and then carve his own memorial stone.
ReplyDeleteInterred below is the body of Gove
His plots and plans he viciously wove.
But in the end he is but soil
A fitting end for all his toil.