Got stuck in a lift

It's a classic pub conversation: who would/wouldn't you like to be stuck in a lift with? I've had my share of stuck lifts in my long life - who hasn't? - but I can't for the life of me recall any of my lift sharers. I was thinking this question the other day when I was watching Prime Minister's Questions and in particular trying to get to the bottom of who Kier Starmer is, what are his values and what is he for?

If I'm stuck in that lift with him, I'd have to try and come up with a question which requires a meaningful answer; I'm not prepared to accept some kind of recitation of the government's litany of brilliant initiatives, I need to know what he believes in. I actually think I wouldn't be able to get an answer, because he wouldn't regard me as an ordinary bloke but more likely someone trying to trick him. So it wouldn't be long before we resorted to the one subject he feels safe with: the Arsenal. We can mutually indulge our hopes and expectations for the coming season but I suspect that, if I ask whether we should sign the Brazilian Rodrygo from Real Madrid, he'd retreat into diplomatic mode: would he risk upsetting the Brazilians if he didn't think he was good enough for the Gunners (which is my view); or the Spanish if he thought Real Madrid were a fading force and so he'd be better off at the Emirates Stadium (ditto)? I think there'd be enough commonality though to while away an hour or two.

My mind drifted to Rishi Sunak. He has on a number of occasions claimed to support Southampton, the town of his birth and the club most recently relegated with one of the lowest points totals ever. Question #1: will you still go and watch them when they're in a lower league? Yep, I'm trying to trick him. But not so much as to ask him to name Southampton's leading goalscorer of all time; I'm not a bully. So I'd move on to chess. I recall he wanted everyone to learn chess to A Level and every school to have a Maths club. Or was it the other way round? Anyway, I'd want to know if he actually plays himself - I imagine he wouldn't have mentioned it if he didn't - and what's his rating? What's his username on chess.com and shall we play a game to while away the time? The (Evening?) Standard wrote in 2023 that Sunak is "also a keen player" after reporting that Rachel Reeves challenged him to a game. I've been unable to find any response from him, which frankly seems rude.

Which leads me to Reeves. We know she plays chess but, given she was a decent junior chess player (the case for "champion" is disputed), it's likely she's above my level. Even so, if the lift has wifi, I'd definitely challenge her to an online match. Although I'd probably let her win because..you know... I wouldn't want to upset her. I'm not sure we would have much else to talk about. I'd tell her to Keep Buggering On, Churchillian style. She's reported to be a supporter of Leeds United; her constituency is Leeds West And Pudsey, so that sounds a bit...convenient. Let's see if we see her in the crowd on match days now that they're back in the Premier League and on TV. 

I'd be quite entertained by Boris Johnson. I'm a proponent of infrastructure boosterism, always thought his idea for an airport by the Thames Estuary had a lot going for it. If he promised to get my St Austell to Istanbul railway built, I'd vote for him. Unlike the others, I don't think he'd regard me with suspicion and I suspect he wouldn't require much prompting to talk about whatever I asked of him. I might ask him to explain the rugby union offside law - he's definitely not a soccer man - but I'd probably be no clearer after he'd rambled his answer. Which I suspect would be "who cares? If the ball comes out of the scrum, I'm ready to pick it up and run with it". Really Boris, you still think that's possible? Stranger things.....

Who'd be your choice in the lift?