Wednesday, 24 June 2020

Red button 2

"What could possibly go wrong?" I asked in an earlier Red Button post about the option given by Sky for fans to use an app to choose spectator chants for the "fake soundtrack" for football matches without supporters.

I should also have directed that question at the offers made by many clubs of having fans' photographs made into cardboard cutouts for display on seats (because we are dumb enough to think there are real supporters in the ground).

This evening it is reported that Leeds United have removed a cardboard cutout of Usama Bin Laden from one of their seats.

All 44 clubs in the Premier League and Championship are now presumably checking their cardboard cutouts for photos of Stalin, Hitler and Genghis Khan. Which you think they might have done before.

Tuesday, 23 June 2020

I learned new football slang tonight

A "jigsaw" player is one who goes to pieces in the box. Never heard of it.

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

...so said the dolphins when they departed Planet Earth just before it is demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass. After they have made a copy of Earth, and all its contents, somewhere else. Ctrl-X then Ctrl-V.

Dolphins are supposed to be clever, yes? Cleverer than us? It sure seems like it in this case. They clearly discovered Qwerty keyboards, interstellar travel and clipboards. And how to perform and monetise acrobatics to an adoring public. P. T. Barnum, eat your heart out.

Your local chippie run out of fish? A dolphin eats around 30 pounds of fish a day and there are some one million dolphins in the world, so blame them. If they can't get enough from our over-fished seas, they will shoot over to the chippie and grab all the cod and chips. In Earth's new home we should ban dolphins, methinks.

Obviously "So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish" is also a Brexit meme. Enough.

I wish I could be a ...

...video streamer.

I get immense pleasure out of watching YouTube videos and sometimes catching live Twitch streams.

Regular readers will recall that I play the computer strategy game Civilization VI (O-oh, there go my readers - bye bye. No! Don't go; be patient, this leads to something). Without wishing to be boastful, or inversely falsely modest, I can say I am pretty good at it. I play on the highest difficulty level and beat the game more often than  not. I learned a lot by myself but also a great deal, particularly about optimal plays for higher difficulty levels, by starting to watch streamers playing the game. The best of them are also good at explaining their decision making processes.

I'm also good at explaining myself and so that's what I'd like to do - be a video streamer. I have the technical know-how (or can get it from YouTube and Twitch) to do it.

But I can't.

Why? Because I don't have the charisma that these people have. And because they are closer to the age range of their viewers so can talk the talk, using modern and youthful vernacular. The best of them show genuine interest in their followers in stream chat but more often than not balance that well with progressing their game play. They deal effectively with occasional idiots in Chat. I'm not sure I could do any of that.

Of course, I could take the non-streaming approach of creating edited videos for YouTube. But even those have comments from all and sundry. Would I care about whether those comments were supportive and constructive or downright rude? Do I have the mental strength to take it all in my stride? Well I write blog posts and encourage comments, so I suppose the answer might be Yes.

It isn't just computer games I use YouTube for - I have recently watched Mahler symphonies, modern jazz, Wynton Marsalis playing Haydn - and jazz - and a Bruckner symphony. Also fixing a problem with my Xbox connecting to WiFi. I guess if I wanted to learn about butterflies flapping their wings in the Amazon jungle (that's the real one, not where drones work packing boxes), YouTube would have a video clip for me. What a resource!

I guess it's not a bad idea to have new goals in your life, even at a ripe old age, but I'm not sure becoming a streamer is achievable. Is that sad? Move on, Nigel.

The Masai Talking Stick

I read that the Masai talking stick is used by that African tribe to determine who can speak in a tribal gathering. If you have the stick, you may speak. If not, not.

I believe other indigenous peoples use (or used) talking sticks. Those in the northwest of North America, for example.

This sounds like an incredible family tool. Imagine the chaos of family celebrations, everyone shouting at once, replaced by the calm, authoritative approach of the talking stick. The next time I am in Australia for Christmas, I will see if any Aboriginal tribes have them (apparently they do but call them message-sticks) and, if so, purchase one for Christmas lunch. How will my three rumbustious Australian grandsons respond? You get one guess.

In these video conferencing times, it seems like there should be a digital talking stick system. I starting watching the first of the latest series of Have I Got News For You at the beginning of lockdown, but turned it off after 10 minutes because the video conferencing was chaotic. I guess the comedy culture of constant interruption isn't well suited. For serious discussions, I guess the TV producer/director is the talking stick: "You have the stick, Boris". In the House Of Commons the Speaker is the talking stick.

I read on the Indigenous Corporate Training Inc. website that "A great many schools have adopted the Talking Stick principles in their classrooms as a way to teach children patience, self-discipline and to respect the speaker and his/her words. The added bonus is the children additionally are learning about First Nation culture in a tangible way." That's cool. Also on that site are references to alternatives to talking sticks such as an eagle feather, wampum belt, peace pipe or sacred shell.

Writing a blog is a great learning tool; now I know these things. This might be useful once pub quizzes restart.

To Infinity and Beyond

No, this story is not about Buzz Lightyear. But Buzz's catchphrase is actually a neat description of The Three Body Problem, an epic saga of Earth's contact with alien races written by the Chinese author Liu Cixin.

Oh no, not another Star Trek tale! I hear you say. I promise you that it is not. This is so-called hard science fiction, meaning that it is characterized by concern for scientific accuracy and logic. No phasers, no "beam me up, Scotty".

This is actually a trilogy. The first book has The Three Body Problem as its title; the second is The Dark Forest and the third is Death's End. Spoilers ahead.

The tale starts in the era of Mao's Cultural Revolution, where scientists, as well as many others, suffered purges and arrests. Ye Wenjie, an astrophysics graduate from Tsinghua University, witnesses her father beaten to death. She turns out to be one of the few fixtures throughout the three books. At the end of the trilogy, many centuries have passed in Earth's history.

Ye Wenjie later, as an astropysicist, sends a message into space to see if there are any extraterrestrial civilisations. The message is received by the planet Trisolaris, the only remaining of the original twelve planets of the three star Alpha Centauri system, 4.37 light years away from earth. Scientifically, the three bodies - in this case the three stars of thew system - rotate around each other chaotically. This causes Trisolaris to go through many eras of alternating prosperity and disaster but now the planet is nearing its end as it is drawn inexorably towards collision with one of the suns. Trisolarians have been looking for a planet in another, more stable, system in order to spread their civilisation there. Hence the message from Earth is a potential blessing and, realising they are much more advanced technologically than Earth, they make plans to colonise it.

On Earth, scientists realise that the Trisolarians have built an invasion fleet which will arrive in just over four centuries' time. Thereafter, the trilogy deals with the ways in which Earth responds to this - technologically, culturally, sociologically and individually.

Each of the three books has a main protagonist and, as the saga develops over the centuries, it grows in scale from a planet-focused tale to a galactic epic.

The science includes known astrophysical concepts such as the three body problem itself, dark matter, dark forest theory, suspended animation and multidimensional space. As the story goes far into the future, new theoretical concepts are explored.

But this is not by any means a scientific treatise, or even a story of a battle between alien races but more about the development, innovation and ebb and flow of civilisations. I wish I was an experienced literary reviewer, so that I could give you a better description and impression of these amazing books. It's like asking someone to describe The Lord of the Rings in a few paragraphs. I hope this brief description, coupled with my enthusiasm for the books, will persuade some of you to give them a try. They are complex works; the first book particularly requires patience as the background to the tale evolves, but the pace grows, and the direction becomes clearer, as the centuries pass.