See Oh Two

I have an A level in Chemistry, so I know all about carbon dioxide. Including the fact that, when dining in Charlestown recently, there were no desserts as "we can't make ice because we have no CO₂". Apparently we (the country; maybe the world) are suffering from a severe lack of carbon dioxide. This is definitely news to the climate, which is suffering because we have too much of it.

CO₂ is used in nuclear power stations, fizzy drinks, growing plants in greenhouses, stunning animals before slaughter, packaging food (extending shelf life by preventing bacteria), winemaking, as a refrigerant and for removing caffeine from coffee.

It's most commonly made as a by product of fertilizer manufacture and the UK government has given CF Fertilizers millions of pounds to restart its production, which had ceased because of the rise in wholesale gas prices.

According to the Brewers Association, "carbon dioxide quality is essential to finished beer quality, contributing to sensory outcomes, beer foam, mouthfeel, and shelf stability."

So please get this sorted - I need my beer, decaf coffee, ice cream and other sensory outcomes.

A Reward for your Loyalty

Buying my morning coffee in Asda, I was certain I had a 'free one' on my loyalty card. Searching in my wallet I found... my barber's card. Seven more haircuts and the following one is free!

Next came the card for No. 1 Cubs. Suppliers of Cornish coffee and clothing. They have a coffee stall, with rustic outdoor seating

and a clothing cabin, selling rather nice T shirts and the like, at picturesque Charlestown Harbour. The best loyalty offer yet - buy 6 get your 7th free! I have 2 stamps so far.

The Tea Room at the St Austell Garden Centre

provides the next two cards. One for hot drinks (6 stamps out of the 7 needed before a free decaf tea) and the other for cakes. Yippee! My next cake is free!

There's a queue behind me now. Finally, I find my Asda hot drink card. Only one stamp on it. Boo. Another 6 before I can claim the free one.

Perhaps I need a bigger wallet.

I think I'll save them all up and have a non-spending spree all in one day: breakfast coffee, mid morning coffee, haircut, tea and cake. What's not to like?

I guess you're thinking "why is he blathering on about his unexceptional life? And thinking we'll be engrossed?" The thing is, this is number 8 in the latest series of posts. Remember when you grumbled about me having 12 days off? This is your loyalty reward: read 7 and get one free!

Be careful what you wish for.

Broken markets

The electricity market place has sustained a bit of a collapse. I have first hand experience of two of the suppliers which have recently gone bust.

I signed up to lookaftermybills, a super-comparison web site which finds the cheapest electricity supplier for you, makes the switch for you from your current supplier without you having to raise a finger and, every subsequent year, repeats the process. A great idea. In theory. My problem was that, after the first year, the switch from Utility Point to Green Energy, the companies identified by the site, did not go smoothly. In fact it did not actually happen at all. And involved me doing all the communication. In the end I gave up on the process and renewed my contract with Utility Point.

Subsequently there were numerous hikes of the electricity price until I received the news that Utility Point had gone bust. Unexpected but not surprised. Yesterday Green Energy followed suit.

The regulator Ofgem has a protocol in place which deals with situations such as this and I am now back with French-owned EDF, which was my supplier before I got involved with lookaftermybills. Full circle. But, if Ofgem anticipated this happening (which they must have done to have established the scheme) why did they allow it happen?

These companies - there were at one point 99 of them, which the government defines as "a competitive market" - don't actually make any electricity, they just trade in it as a commodity: buy wholesale, sell retail, pocket the margin. Like all such markets, prices are volatile and if wholesale prices go up steeply, as gas prices have done recently (these companies typically supply gas and electricity) then a company can be in trouble. A "competitive market" essentially means a race to the bottom in prices to the customer, to get your share of the market (28 million domestic customers), because price is the only relevant determinant for the customer. Electricity is not like pizza, where quality matters as well as price. It's inevitable that this will lead to company failures.

I know full well the arguments against state control of utilities, because I grew up at a time when "nationalised" became a dirty word but privatisation of an essential national function always seemed illogical to me and it's now unarguable that the consequences can be negative. It seems likely that the 99 companies will in time be reduced to a small number, thus rolling back the whole process.

I'm happy to be back with EDF. I don't like them, don't dislike them, but if it stops me having to think about "what next?" and perhaps costs me a few pounds a month more than I could find elsewhere, I'll live with that. Cheapest is not always best.

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker

Remember when the most respected people in your village were the schoolteacher, the bank manager, the doctor and the vicar?

Of course you don't. Those days are long gone.

Unless. You need to get a passport. In which case, you will need to find a person of repute, and who has by some means a knowledge of you, to countersign the form (Why is it "countersign"? Don't they just sign?).

The government tells us the person must work in (or be retired from) a 'recognised profession' or be ‘a person of good standing in their community’.

Recognised professions include:

• chiropodists but not osteopaths
• airline pilots but not bus drivers
• dentists but not doctors (unless you are a close friend)
• engineers but not scientists
• travel agents but not estate agents
• publicans but not restauranteurs
• journalists but not bloggers
• opticians but not audiologists
• MPs but not mayors

Does any of this make any sense whatsoever? Has anyone looked at this recently?

Also included: "president or secretary of a recognised organisation". I was for a number of years Secretary of Cornwall Croquet Club so, if you need a countersignatory for your passport application, I'm your man. Payment in bitcoin only.

Stockholm Syndrome

Netflix perhaps focuses on quantity above quality. Looking for a new TV series to watch, you have to wade your way through a great deal of dross before you come across a gem. Often you don't know that it's dross until somewhere in episode three and by then you may be so into the plot that you feel the need to find out how it finishes. You're hooked.

But then you come across a diamond, all sparkly, multifaceted and pure. I found one recently - Fauda - which I posted about before.

Now I have another, even better, even purer. Gold. An apt description because the plot of Money Heist is ... well, you can guess. A robbery, but not just a formulaic steal: a skillfully plotted plan where every detail, every setback is anticipated and avoided or dealt with. How do you steal 2 billion Euros from the Royal Mint of Spain? And stay alive so that you can spend it? 

This TV series is un-put-down-able. An excellent ensemble cast, great production values and a brilliant soundtrack. The episodes are grouped into five 'parts', which I suppose means overall we have a drama in five acts - even that has been plotted as a whole, an approach which is holistic and therefore satisfying. Season 1 had 15 episodes in two parts; season 2 16 episodes, parts 3 and 4. Season 3 is not yet complete but appears to comprise the final part of 10 episodes (currently 5 available; the remainder in December). It's a modern Ring Cycle.

I therefore can't tell you how it ends and I wouldn't want to anyway. Everything is cleverly done, the characters are richly developed with their back stories gradually unfolding using (easily recognisable and comprehensible) flashbacks and the tensions within the heist team and between them and their hostages (of course there are hostages) are thoughtful and rewarding. The inevitable Stockholm Syndrome has its place but is just one aspect of those relationships.

It's a Spanish production and presented with dubbing, which is done as well as can be.The show has won numerous awards. There's a strong element of post financial crisis rebellion against capitalism and subversive populism.

Want to see a hundred million Euros raining down on the citizens of Madrid from a couple of blimps? Want to know how empty the robbers feel, with too much money to spend and struggling to cope with a lack of action in their lives? Check it out.

Red Adair

Remember him? Red Adair was the guy you sent for if you needed urgent action. Putting out oil well fires.

He came to prominence in the public eye in the 1960s and 70s as someone who - with his team - capped burning oil wells, particularly (to British attention) in the North Sea. The "go-to" guy of the oil industry, even appearing in Kuwait after the first Gulf War at the age of 75, putting out the oil well fires set by the retreating Iraqi army.

Today's go-to guy, in UK politics at least, is Michael Gove. Need someone to run a difficult government department? He's your man. Even after shafting his boss (now the PM) in the leadership election following David Cameron's resignation. Gove, thought of as a reformer who can think 'outside the box', fought the teachers in the Education Department, got rid of Chris Grayling's harebrained scheme for book limits for prisoners at Justice, jointly 'won' the EU referendum and told us we can't buy petrol or diesel cars after 2040. And was mates with Dominic Cummings.

He now has a new department. Previously called the Housing, Communities and Local Government department, it's now the Levelling Up, Housing and Communities department - possibly a prime candidate as the worst ever departmental name. 370 years after the original Levellers movement in the English Civil War, we're all going to level up. I think that means we can all become Queen, run Asda or buy a Caribbean island.

What next for Michael? Could he become King? The monarchy surely needs his reforming zeal; they've definitely been down-levelling of late. As a mercenary, maybe he could have a go at leading the Labour Party. Level them up and they might win an election in time to welcome electric cars in 2040. Mostly I'm thinking of Ipswich Town, though. Football is littered with go-to managers such as Sam Allardyce, who is  the person of choice when  your team is stuck in the relegation zone. Could Gove level us up to the Premier League? A win-win for Ipswich and the country, perhaps. Yes please.