Got stuck in a lift

It's a classic pub conversation: who would/wouldn't you like to be stuck in a lift with? I've had my share of stuck lifts in my long life - who hasn't? - but I can't for the life of me recall any of my lift sharers. I was thinking this question the other day when I was watching Prime Minister's Questions and in particular trying to get to the bottom of who Kier Starmer is, what are his values and what is he for?

If I'm stuck in that lift with him, I'd have to try and come up with a question which requires a meaningful answer; I'm not prepared to accept some kind of recitation of the government's litany of brilliant initiatives, I need to know what he believes in. I actually think I wouldn't be able to get an answer, because he wouldn't regard me as an ordinary bloke but more likely someone trying to trick him. So it wouldn't be long before we resorted to the one subject he feels safe with: the Arsenal. We can mutually indulge our hopes and expectations for the coming season but I suspect that, if I ask whether we should sign the Brazilian Rodrygo from Real Madrid, he'd retreat into diplomatic mode: would he risk upsetting the Brazilians if he didn't think he was good enough for the Gunners (which is my view); or the Spanish if he thought Real Madrid were a fading force and so he'd be better off at the Emirates Stadium (ditto)? I think there'd be enough commonality though to while away an hour or two.

My mind drifted to Rishi Sunak. He has on a number of occasions claimed to support Southampton, the town of his birth and the club most recently relegated with one of the lowest points totals ever. Question #1: will you still go and watch them when they're in a lower league? Yep, I'm trying to trick him. But not so much as to ask him to name Southampton's leading goalscorer of all time; I'm not a bully. So I'd move on to chess. I recall he wanted everyone to learn chess to A Level and every school to have a Maths club. Or was it the other way round? Anyway, I'd want to know if he actually plays himself - I imagine he wouldn't have mentioned it if he didn't - and what's his rating? What's his username on chess.com and shall we play a game to while away the time? The (Evening?) Standard wrote in 2023 that Sunak is "also a keen player" after reporting that Rachel Reeves challenged him to a game. I've been unable to find any response from him, which frankly seems rude.

Which leads me to Reeves. We know she plays chess but, given she was a decent junior chess player (the case for "champion" is disputed), it's likely she's above my level. Even so, if the lift has wifi, I'd definitely challenge her to an online match. Although I'd probably let her win because..you know... I wouldn't want to upset her. I'm not sure we would have much else to talk about. I'd tell her to Keep Buggering On, Churchillian style. She's reported to be a supporter of Leeds United; her constituency is Leeds West And Pudsey, so that sounds a bit...convenient. Let's see if we see her in the crowd on match days now that they're back in the Premier League and on TV. 

I'd be quite entertained by Boris Johnson. I'm a proponent of infrastructure boosterism, always thought his idea for an airport by the Thames Estuary had a lot going for it. If he promised to get my St Austell to Istanbul railway built, I'd vote for him. Unlike the others, I don't think he'd regard me with suspicion and I suspect he wouldn't require much prompting to talk about whatever I asked of him. I might ask him to explain the rugby union offside law - he's definitely not a soccer man - but I'd probably be no clearer after he'd rambled his answer. Which I suspect would be "who cares? If the ball comes out of the scrum, I'm ready to pick it up and run with it". Really Boris, you still think that's possible? Stranger things.....

Who'd be your choice in the lift?

Things I didn't know #4

The name Australia was given to the Southern continent by Captain Matthew Flinders, whose remains were among those of about 50,000 people exhumed from St James's cemetery next to Euston Station and reburied in Brookwood in Surrey. To make room for the London terminus of the UK's High Speed 2 railway. Which may never be built. Should've stayed in Oz.

Flinders was the first to circumnavigate Australia. He is of course memorialised there: there's the Flinders Range, Flinders Island in the Bass Strait, Station and Street in Melbourne, the University in Adelaide, the Flinders Chase National Park on Kangaroo Island and many statues.

One of the most well-known (although not by me until now) statues is actually in Euston Station, erected in 2014 (the bicentenary of Flinders' death) and is of Flinders and his cat Trim. ChatGPT tells me Trim is "beloved by many Australians", although of the many Australians I have met over there (including my elder son, his wife and her family) not one has ever mentioned this cat. You can check out much more about Trim here:

https://www.purr-n-fur.org.uk/famous/trim.html

This picture of the Euston statue is from an interesting website London Remembers:

Trim is nowhere to be seen but is probably snuggled up to the sleeping traveller. This from the Mitchell Library in Sydney will have to suffice for you cat-lovers:

I'm sorry, this is ridiculous

A brief paragraph in today's Times. Craig Williams, Rishi Sunak's PPS when in government, has been charged with offences under the Gambling Act 2005, one of which involved the alleged placing of a £100 bet on the date of the next election three days before Sunak announced the date.

All very straightforward, you'd imagine. Justice in action. He did not enter a plea at the Crown Court hearing yesterday so he has been sent for trial.

But here's the kicker.

The 52 word "report" ended with the final sentence: "His trial has been set for January 2028". What? Three years' time? I'm not one of those constantly harping on about Britain being broken but what does this say about the justice system? Is Williams playing the system by not entering a plea and hoping it will all go away? Or is he now a victim of a system which, even if he is eventually found innocent of the charges, will trash his reputation and ruin his life for 3 years?

This is beyond ridiculous.

Things I didn't know #3

The Lewis chessmen. Never heard of them until now. 78 12th century (chess is a very old game played at the top level by the very young) pieces, 67 of which are in the British Museum, the remainder in the National Museum of Scotland (which I'd also never heard of).

They (at least some of them) are going on their travels as part of a cultural loan exchange between the British Museum and the French, which will see the Bayeux Tapestry come the other way.

The chessmen are made of walrus ivory and whale tooth, probably made in Norway and found on the island of Lewis in the Outer Hebrides in 1831. The Hebrides were part of Norway - Viking invaders -

 [from the Bayeux Tapestry]

from the 9th century until 1266 when King Alexander III of Scotland paid Norway 4,000 marks and 400 marks p.a. for sovereignty in the Treaty of Perth. The annual fee was supposed to last forever but it has apparently been forgotten about - perhaps Scotland didn't have any marks left after a while.

There's obviously an argument that we should be lending the chessmen to the National Museum of Norway rather than the French.

Banknotes

Apparently the Bank of England is inviting us to nominate our suggestions for who should appear on the face of the new £5, £10, £20 and £50 banknotes. Despite the fact that no-one carries actual paper money any more. I know, they're made of plastic now, not paper.

For reference the current notes show:

£5 – Winston Churchill

£10 – Jane Austen

£20 – J.M.W. Turner

£50 – Alan Turing

Not sure there is some kind of value assertion here, perhaps that Turing (a genius) has been 5 times more consequential than Jane Austen (anyone could have written her stuff, even an infinite number of monkeys). I feel there should be, so my contributions are value-added:

£5 - Andre Arshavin scoring 4 goals for Arsenal in one match against Liverpool. Of course he's Russian so that might be controversial. Especially with Liverpool fans

£10 - Maradona scoring a beautiful winner for Argentina against England in the World Cup quarter final in Mexico in 1986. Of course it should actually have been just an equaliser because his first goal was scored with his hand. For me Maradona was the GOAT but the Hand of God might not appeal to the Bank of England.

£20 - Geoff Hurst scoring a hat-trick to win the World Cup for England in 1966. No brainer.

£50 - Ray Kennedy scoring the winner at Tottenham's White Hart Lane ground in 1971, winning the League title for Arsenal in so doing. I was there. We went on to win the League/FA Cup double.

I've just checked out the eligibility rules (probably should have done that first):

1. They must be dead so no Arshavin or Hurst
2. Don't have to be British or even born in Britain all the above OK
3. Must have made a lasting, positive impact on British society in some way sorry Diego
4. Real person not fictional
5. Not divisive, politically explosive or otherwise controversial Diego strike #2

So some revision is required. The Banknote Character Advisory Committee has recently decided on six themes: notable historical figures, nature, architecture and landmarks, arts/culture/sport, noteworthy milestones, and innovation. I think this means our selections must be themed within one of these. Seems I've gone for either arts/culture/sport or noteworthy milestones, so I have to choose which and then revise within that. Here I go:

£5 - Arnold Schoenberg’s first twelve-tone composition: “Suite for Piano, Op. 25”, written between 1921 and 1923.

£10 - Elvis Presley, first worldwide famous rock n roll star, hugely influencing the development of 20th century popular music

£20 - Pablo Picasso and Georges Braque, founders of cubism am I allowed two faces?

£50 I was going to stick with Ray Kennedy but that would probably be seen as divisive by my Tottenham readers (and the Committee) so I've gone for Emma Lazarus: “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free...” [The New Colossus] on the Statue of Liberty.

None of these are British but I've followed the rules. It's pretty disappointing (although obviously not for him) that Geoff Hurst is still alive. His time will surely come, I don't doubt. I probably should check to see if any of these have previously been used but I'll leave that to the Committee.

I very much look forward to readers' suggestions. No Boaty McBoatface please.

Things I didn’t know #2

Perhaps my favourite tv series, maybe even the GOAT tv series: The West Wing. Lead character: Josiah Edward “Jed” Bartlet. What I didn’t know is that there was a real life Josiah Bartlett, who was one of 56 people who signed the American Declaration of Independence. I know, the spellings of the surname are different but this surely can’t have been coincidence. I think that the fact both came from New Hampshire endorses my view that Aaron Sorkin's character was based on the 18th century Governor of that state.

In my ignorance of American political history, if you'd asked me how many people signed that Declaration in 1776, I'd have guessed at somewhere between 4 and 10, knowing (guessing?) the names of perhaps a couple.

The TV show also taught me about the 25th Amendment. Bartlet (the fictional one, as you'll have observed no double t) invoked it when his daughter was kidnapped by terrorists and he decides he is too emotionally compromised to make rationally correct decisions on the situation. He steps down temporarily but there is no Vice President (next in line) at the time because he resigned after a sex scandal, so the next-next in line Speaker of the House Allen Walken, a Republican (Bartlet was a Democrat) became Acting President. Things don't go well and there is inevitable conflict between Walken and Bartlet's Cabinet, leading to them seriously consider invoking another of the 25th Amendment's clauses and deposing him. Of course, it's drama: Zoey is rescued, Jed returns, everyone breathes a sigh of relief and America's constitution is safe.

The actual 25th Amendment was ratified in 1967, four years after Kennedy's assassination meant that VP Lyndon Johnson became President, in accordance with the Constitution, but there was no Vice President for the remainder of Johnson's term.

If this all seems arcane, it was invoked by Ronald Reagan and George W Bush when they had medical procedures which involved anesthesia.