Thursday, 24 September 2020

Weekly quiz #3 guess the year

Do you know which year the following happened? If you can answer from your encyclopaedic memory rather than cheating with Mr Google, so much the better 😀

Beware - they are not in chronological order!

Year 1 (let's start with an easy one):

  • David Cameron left his eight year old daughter at a pub
  • Malala Yousafzai was shot by a member of the Taliban
  • Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her jubilee
  • London hosted the Olympic Games
Year 2 (you can have a year either way):
  • The United States Senate tried, and acquitted, President Clinton, who had been impeached for "high crimes and misdemeanours"
  • The world's population first exceeded six billion
  • The European Union introduced the Euro currency
  • Shakespeare in Love won Best Picture at the Academy Awards
Year 3 (three years either way):
  • Ipswich Town won the First Division in England
  • Jamaica gained its independence
  • Marilyn Monroe died
  • John Steinbeck won the Nobel Prize for Literature
Year 4 (twenty years either way):
  • Robert the Bruce defeated Edward II and declared Scotland independent
  • It was a leap year
  • Amsterdam was officially declared a city
  • Giotto completed the Badia Polyptych
Year 5 (sorry, this is too easy, so no leeway):
  • The London Underground map was unveiled
  • Adolf Hitler was appointed Chancellor of Germany
  • England won The Ashes in Australia, unleashing bodyline bowling tactics against their opponents
  • FM radio patented
Year 6 (two years either way):
  • Richard Wagner born
  • Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice published anonymously in London
  • Prussia declared war on France
  • The battle of Stoney Creek took place
Year 7 (one year either way):
  • The first Tom and Jerry cartoon made
  • John Lennon born
  • A new car in the USA cost $850
  • Rebecca won Best Picture at the Academy Awards

Quiz #2 answers

 Exhibit A: Charles Dickens

Exhibit B: Albert Einstein

Exhibit C: Margot Fonteyn

Exhibit D: Paul Gauguin

Exhibit E: Isaac Newton

Exhibit F: Richard Wagner

Exhibit G: Hypatia

Exhibit H: Isaac Asimov


Wednesday, 23 September 2020

Funny kittens

 


It's done!
All 1,000 pieces present and correct. Nice picture, eh?
Next:

Van Gogh "Starry night". 1,000 pieces again. I'll get back to you in a few weeks!


Monday, 21 September 2020

Cornish fauna

 Cornish wildlife is super interesting. Weird and wonderful. Take this guy:

Yes, please take  him; he's weird and scary. He can be seen roaming the fields and moors and I run away when I see his hunting party coming. He is called the giant....no, I'm kidding; he's actually a tardigrade and can be found well, everywhere - volcanic mud (not so much of that in Cornwall though), in the deep sea and rainforest (ditto) and on mountaintops (again not so much down my street). He's about 0.5mm long so not so scary - except to other tardigrades.

Here's another scary guy:
Look at those eyes! Following you, ready to pounce. I wouldn't like to be on my own with him in a room. He'd probably tickle me to death. For those who care enough, he is a Lackey Moth Caterpillar.

This is a porbeagle. At least, it's snout. Or rather the rostral cartilages. See, you can learn new words by reading this nonsense. A porbeagle is a species of mackerel shark. I guess you could cook it and eat it in a sandwich. Brown bread please. Which you couldn't say of a tardigrade. Inhabits Cornish coastal waters.

You didn't think you'd see a moose in Cornwall? You certainly will - in Cornwall, Ontario. Along with
and
That's a rat snake, by the way. So far in Cornwall, Canada but not my Cornwall. Thank goodness.

If you're planning on a visit to my neck of the woods any time soon, keep an eye out for the wildlife!

Saturday, 19 September 2020

It's that day

Shiver me timbers! Ahoy there, me hearties. It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

So let's here it from all you bilge-sucking pirates out there. All hands on deck. How to talk: throaty growl, West Country accent, lots of waving your cutlass. Give us yer spoils or you'll be shark bait.
Photo by Rowan Heuvel on Unsplash
Don't be lazy, resting on yer laurels
Photo by Sergey Semin on Unsplash
What's that, you're struggling with yer peg leg? It's a walk along the plank for you, yer son of a biscuit eater.
Photo by Luis Rivera on Unsplash
OK it's off to the briny deep for me, flying the Jolly Roger
Photo by David Dibert on Unsplash
and looking for some booty.
Pieces of eight, pieces of eight!
Photo by Christopher Alvarenga on Unsplash

Friday, 18 September 2020

@diaristpepys turns 100

In an idle moment I began wondering about historical figures and how they would use the Internet if alive today. It seemed a suitable subject for my 100th blog post.

Exhibit A: Samuel Pepys

  • Pepys would definitely have a Facebook page; he wanted to be a member of the establishment and this would be his way of publicising his activities and making Friends
  • LinkedIn - Pepys' LinkedIn page says "Naval Administrator has contacts and contracts for negotiation"
  • Tinder - a must for Pepys' social activity
  • WhatsApp contacts include Oliver Cromwell, Charles I, Charles II and James II.
Exhibit B: Jane Austen
  • Jane would obviously have been a blogger: bloggerjane.blogspot.com
  • Selling her novels through Amazon Kindle. Book 1 free, book 2 £2.99, book 3 £7.99, now you're hooked it's £14.99 from now on
  • Jane's LinkedIn page says "superior librettist seeking comic opera composer for collaboration"
  • She set up a WhatsApp group with her sister, brothers and assorted Hampshire country folk
Exhibit C: Leonardo Da Vinci
  • Leo started with Instagram, obviously. A new picture every day
  • YouTube channel of Leo building massive Lego structures
  • LinkedIn: "painter (not houses), sculptor, engineer, inventor, theoretical physicist, mathematician, writer, locksmith, pilot, balloonist, driver, draftsman, interior designer. Available for...well, anything really; I can do a great job for you"
Exhibit D: Caligula
  • Definitely a Twitter candidate. "Senators are fat, lazy dangerous lefties. VOTE THEM OUT!!!!" "German Governor conspiracy! Mainstream media won't report it, of course. Neues Deutschland spokesman for the socialists". "I'm gonna build a wall. A big one. The biggest ever built. To keep the peasants out".
Exhibit E: Henry VIII
  • Facebook page: 1.5 million Protestant followers; 2 Catholics (Holy Roman Emperor Charles V and his mum)
  • Twitter: "Be afraid, be very afraid, Charley boy"
  • Tinder: "looking for a wife. Short term temporary post"
Exhibit F: Mao Zedong
  • TikTok: pictures of a Long March
  • WeChat group with Qin Shi Huang, Kublai Khan and Sun Yat-sen
  • Facebook page sponsored by HuaWei
  • Twitter: "We're gonna build a wall around Taiwan. A big wall. The biggest ever. To keep the Taiwanese virus out."
So, 100 blog posts! When Geoffrey Boycott reached a century, he took a fresh guard ready for the next 100. So that's what I'll do.

Thursday, 17 September 2020

Weekly quiz #2

Readers will now that my blog post of a week ago "TLDR and Mr Shakespeare" contained a Shakespearean quiz. Yesterday I published a post with the answers. I thought I might do a weekly quiz for those who enjoy such things.

Today's quiz is a picture one. I'm hoping readers will not cheat but, for those who are OK with cheating and just want to win, (1) there is no prize for winning and (2) here is how to win. Spoiler alert! Right click on the image in Google Chrome and select "search Google for an image". There you go.

Am I trying to beat Google at their game? Maybe. Anyway, this quiz is: Arts and Science (no footballers).

Exhibit A (I'll start with an easy one):

Exhibit B:
Exhibit C:
Exhibit D (a bit harder):
Exhibit E:

Exhibit F:

Exhibit G (suddenly it gets much harder):

Exhibit H:
Comment to answer. Enjoy!

Wednesday, 16 September 2020

Quiz answers

Answers to the Shakespearean TLDR quiz:

  • Some hooligans run away and end up getting their dream weddings - A Midsummer Night's Dream
  • A fully-grown, college-educated man mopes and whines like a child about his home life - Hamlet
  • Identity theft runs rampant in a beach community  - Twelfth Night
  • A wife loses a hankie and also her life - Othello
  • A small boy battles it out with an experienced weasel and nobody wins - King John
  • A bunch of royals get stuck on the most wicked awesome deserted island ever - The Tempest
  • Some shady characters make a whole bunch of outdated law puns; also a woman clearly says no yet in a play full of lawyers no one brings up the issue of consent - Measure for Measure

Monday, 14 September 2020

It is a truth universally acknowledged

After "Jane Austen: A Life" came "Samuel Pepys: The Unequalled Self". One title bland, the other pithy. Titles matter; would you, dear reader, have bothered with this post were it entitled "Some idle thoughts" or worse, "Drunken footballer starts new season with a wonder goal"? I'm guessing No.

But do these two titles say anything about Claire Tomalin's empathy with her subjects? The country girl saunters through life, observing it; the urban diarist rages through it, enjoying it to the full. Tomalin moved on to "Thomas Hardy: The Time-Torn Man" then back to "A Life" for Charles Dickens. I find these distinctions fascinating. If it means that the author finds Samuel Pepys a more rewarding personality to explore than Jane Austen, I'm with her there.

Even Mary Wollstonecraft, in 1974 Tomalin's first subject, gets "The Life and Death of".

I should confess at this point that I have never, as far as I can recall, read a Jane Austen novel. Does this disqualify me from commenting on a book of her life? I do come to the author's descriptions of Austen's life with an unfettered eye where others, lovers of Jane's writing, might be less dispassionate.

So just "A Life". I struggled with the early chapters. I wanted to move quickly to the adult Jane Austen writing her iconic novels. Instead there are pages of family bonhomie, James and his writing, flirtatious Eliza, questionable Warren Hastings and Christmas plays. The only one of them that I find interesting is Jane's father. Tomalin calls him "an exceptional father for an exceptional daughter", in particular for his allowing, even encouraging her to read from his library books which most parents of the time would have regarded as "not proper" for a young lady, such as Samuel Richardson's Sir Charles Grandison, "full of discussions about the place and condition of women, and of love, marriage and eroticism". Austen's character Isabella Thorpe, in Northanger Abbey, calls it "an amazing horrid book". Jane's "father's bookshelves were of primary importance in fostering her talent".

The second half of Jane's teenage years are the subject of many pages. However, Jane herself is a bit of an absentee, as tales of the Hampshire gentry dominate. The Boltons, the Portsmouths, the Terrys, the Portals, more and more. Occasionally a quote from one of Jane's letters shows she is closely observing everybody  and everything, and Tomalin relates many of these observations to characters in her novels. "The Austens' neighbours, shifting, diverse, eccentric and sometimes outrageous in their behaviour, look like a great rich slab of raw material for a novelist to work on."

Jane's brief "romance" with Tom Lefroy is given short shrift. It isn't even clear how much of a romance it was. In due course he decided it wasn't for him - or, more likely, his family so decided. There is no record of Jane being distraught or, contrarily, relieved. Tomalin quotes from her letters as though she, in her early twenties, was still hopeful of a husband but there seems to have been little effort involved and a number of possibilities are given the cold shoulder. In a letter to sister Cassandra reporting on a ball: "There was one Gentleman, an officer of the Cheshire, a very good looking young Man, who I was told wanted very much to be introduced to me; but as he did not want it quite enough to take much trouble in effecting it, we never could bring it about." This attitude might well have put admirers off. Perhaps Jane didn't really know what she wanted from a marriage.

Chapter 15: Three Books. At last, something other than country tittle tattle that I can get my teeth into. As someone more or less ignorant of the early books - Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice and Northanger Abbey - I am intrigued to know whether I am led to read them and, if so, would I have been better reading them first, before reading this biography? And what is it about Jane and her books that make her such an object of fascination, even reverence, for 20th (and maybe even 21st) century readers?

According to Tomalin, Sense and Sensibility sees Jane developing her own values; after all, she was only 21 when she wrote the first draft. At first sympathetic to Elinor and her 'discretion, polite lies and carefully preserved privacy', she appears to grow closer to 'the transparency, truth-telling and freely expressed emotion' of Marianne. Sense of duty vs personal integrity. Is it too much to postulate that Jane had lived in a small, enclosed world and gradually felt a need to explore a greater universe? There is nothing to suggest that she ever went as far as Marianne's reproach to Sir John Middleton: "I abhor every common-place phrase by which wit is intended; and 'setting one's cap at a man', or 'making a conquest', are the most odious of all."

From Tomalin's description, Pride and Prejudice would make the ideal Mozart comic opera. Various ensembles for the Bennet girls, a trio for Darcy, Bingley and Wickham and a tasty duet for the Bennet parents. It sounds like Jane would have been a great librettist. Sadly Mozart wasn't available, having died a few years earlier but we can drool over what might have been - a Dream Team. Had Jane been more worldly-wise, she might have sought out someone like Salieri and suggested a collaboration.

I did discover that there have been some musicals of the book. That sounds frankly awful.

Tomalin treats Northanger Abbey summarily, just a page and a half. I couldn't discern why that is.

In these three early novels Jane displays an ability to work in different styles - the dichotomy of Sense and Sensibility, the comedy of Pride and Prejudice and the author as narrator in Northanger Abbey. Tomalin clearly admires her as a [my words] 'master craftsman' (I know, that should be craftswoman but that's such an ugly word).

Then for a period of ten years, Jane wrote - or at least completed - nothing. It was a traumatic time; an unwelcome move to Bath, followed by unsettling peripatetic living arrangements, the death of her father and later that of her sister in law. Tomalin suggests that Jane was very discomforted by all this, perhaps extremely so ("Cassandra...was the closest witness of Jane's depression, seeing...how the lack of a settled home kept her from writing"). She was perpetually poor ("Jane's entire spending money for 1807...was something like £50") and had to rely on others for travels to stay with friends and family. The author refers to her becoming familiar with her status as a ‘maiden aunt’, at the grand old age of 33.

There was even a proposal of marriage which she accepted then, the following morning, told her suitor that she had changed her mind.

A mid life crisis in her late 20s and early 30s!

Finally in 1809, the crisis eased. Tomalin notes “By 7 July they were in the cottage at Chawton, joined soon afterwards by Cassandra and Martha. The effect on Jane of this move to a permanent home in which she was able to re-establish her own rhythm of work was dramatic. It was as though she were restored to herself, to her imagination, to all her powers: a black cloud had lifted”. She returned to writing.

The extent of Tomalin’s fascination with Mansfield Park can be judged by the amount of analysis of the characters in which she indulges. Page after page, quite unlike anything of the earlier works. Clearly she finds it baffling and morally challenging, as did Jane's mother, sister and brother Henry; the characters strong and ethically equivocal (including "a group of worldly, highly cultivated, entertaining and well-to-do young people who pursue pleasure without regard for religious or moral principles" [a reference to the Prince Regent's court, perhaps]). The mature Jane clearly felt comfortable exploring such attitudes and their counterparts with "strongly held religious and moral principles" . Tomalin questions the extent to which the characters reflect Austen's own values. In the mid twentieth century Kingsley Amis "concluded that Jane Austen's own judgement and moral sense had gone seriously astray".

By now her works were being published (at first not in Jane's own name) and hence scrutinised. Although given that over half of the population were illiterate and printed books were very expensive to buy, the readership was probably a limited circle of literati. Mansfield Park had a print run of 1,250 and made her £320, the most in her lifetime.

"Emma begun Jany 21st 1814, finished March 29th 1815" wrote Jane's sister Cassandra. This is the only book with which I have at least a passing acquaintance. I find Jane's eponymous heroine simply annoying. I'm not the only one; Austen herself wrote "I am going to take a heroine whom no one but myself will much like." So a bold move. But one that worked, according to Tomalin: "Emma, with its far from faultless heroine, is generally hailed as Austen's most perfect book, flawlessly carried out from conception to finish", "an indication of Austen's power to imagine experience outside her own". Jane collected the 'opinions' of others about the book - 43 of them, of which "only six gave unreserved praise". Seventeen said they preferred Pride and Prejudice.

[A survey by the Jane Austen Society of North America in 2008 showed Pride and Prejudice as the most popular (53%) of Austen's novels; 28% went for Persuasion, 7% for Emma, 5% for Sense and Sensibility and 4% each for Northanger Abbey and Mansfield Park]

Early in 1816 Jane began to feel unwell but "She kept busy, working on 'The Elliots' - her working title for Persuasion". She finished it on 18 July, although she continued to do some re-writes. Tomalin sees it as " a present to....all women who had lost their chance in life and would never enjoy a second spring. "At once the warmest and coldest of Jane Austen's works, the softest and the hardest" wrote Reginald Farrer in 1917. "Years later Cassandra wrote wrote beside it in the margin of her copy of Persuasion the words 'Dear, dear Jane! This deserves to be written in letters of gold'". Tomalin's description of the novel moved me as no other part of this biography did.

In January 1817, increasingly sick and frail, Jane started work on a new novel. When the unfinished work was published in 1925 it was entitled Sanditon. Jane passed away, apparently well prepared in her mind for the end of her short life, in July.

This is a magnificent biography, all the more so since there is so little source material from or about Jane Austen. I cannot deny I struggled much of the time, largely due to Tomalin having to include a great deal of contextual material about family, friends, neighbours and country life of the time. Did it achieve my goal of finding the real Jane? Probably not; she remains a mystery to me in many ways; she herself did not court fame and seems to have been immune to (even nervous of at first) any sense of popularity.

Nevertheless, I did enjoy reading it and also doing this - writing about it. I found that process gave me more insight. I don't pretend this is any more than a series of impressions; certainly not a review. I will leave the final words to two far better judges of Jane Austen than I:

Claire Tomalin: "I must return to...the person...who kept notes on what people said about her work, to read over to herself. This is my favourite image of Jane Austen, laughing at the opinions of the world".

Cassandra: "She was the sun of my life, the gilder of my pleasure, the soother of every sorrow, I had not a thought concealed from her".

I think Jane would have been happy to have either of those as an epitaph.

Friday, 11 September 2020

Moonshots

It is our Prime Minister's word of the week: moonshot. In relation to an ambition to increase coronavirus testing to 10 million tests a day by 2021. It's not a word I am familiar with so I did some research.

Listening to the advice of MiceElf, I first tried the Urban Dictionary.

"awesome, fantastic, almost impossible to achieve, the best, the reason for success, reaching the highest point, right on target"

whatis.techtarget.com has:

"A moonshot, in a technology context, is an ambitious, exploratory and ground-breaking project undertaken without any expectation of near-term profitability or benefit and also, perhaps, without a full investigation of potential risks and benefits."

Here's Google's definition of a moonshot:

"A project or proposal that:

  • Addresses a huge problem
  • Proposes a radical solution
  • Uses breakthrough technology"

The term "moonshot" derives from the Apollo 11 spaceflight project, which landed the first human on the moon in 1969. "Moonshot" may also reference the earlier phrase "shoot for the moon" meaning aim for a lofty target.

The macmillan dictionary:

"a type of thinking that aims to achieve something that is generally believed to be impossible"

So now I know what our loquacious PM is on about. You learn something new every day! Actually I learned two things today 👍👍

The second was the word librocubicularist, which refers to a person who reads in bed. I'm one. Thanks to Ann Treneman of the Times for that pearl of wisdom.

The impossible we can do right now; miracles take a little longer.

Thursday, 10 September 2020

At this level

"At this level, you've got to stick those away". If I had a pound for every time I've heard a football commentator say that, I'd be a rich man.

For those readers unfamiliar with footy jargon, it means "he should have scored". But what does "at this level" mean? Is there a level at which this doesn't apply? If your 10 year old daughter misses an open goal in her under 11s game, surely you'd be yelling the same thing. I know, my readers are too genteel to yell. And mostly too old to have 10 year old children. And favour middle class sports like golf and croquet. And knitting.

I'm writing this whilst watching RC Lens playing Paris Saint-Germain in Ligue 1 in France. On TV, obviously. The commentator, whose name I will not reveal [actually I don't know who he is], as well as uttering this meaningless phrase and which stimulated me to write this, has just described the Lens shirt colour as "blood and gold". What? Did I hear correctly? Apparently so; Wikipedia tells me "Its nickname, sang et or (blood and gold), comes from its traditional colours of red and gold." Here it is: 

I know, it's trivial. But not for Lens supporters - their team, newly promoted to Ligue 1, has just beaten the uber-rich champions in their first  ever match at the top level. So the blood beats the gold. I bet you wish you had been watching. Got yer there.

I could fill a book with commentators' gibberish. Someone probably has.

Ex footballer Jamie Redknapp: “Will Chelsea qualify with ease? I think they will, but it won’t be easy.”

Theo Walcott: “I’ve been consistent in patches this season.”

Here's my favourite. You'll love this: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got 11 Dicks on the field."

There, I've got that off my chest.

Wednesday, 9 September 2020

TLDR and Mr Shakespeare

TLDR is a term I learned today. It means "Too Long, Didn't Read". I came across it whilst watching a YouTube video copy of a previously live stream. Someone joined Chat and asked "I've just caught the stream; could you give me a TLDR?". The valiant streamer then proceeded to summarise the game, which had so far lasted some 6 hours, in one sentence. 10/10 Potato McWhiskey.

TLDR is apparently a common internet acronym dating back to the early 2000s so I don't know why I haven't come across it before, but it now constitutes "one new thing I learned today". I have no idea in what context its usage is common but I thought I might apply TLDR to books I have recently read so that busy, or impatient, readers won't have to read them. Idle, patient readers can skip to the quiz at the end.

Samuel Pepys: The Unequalled Self (Claire Tomalin) - Pepys is born and grows up, writes a diary, works for the navy and gets married, although continuing to lead a lustful life.

The Machine Stops (E. M. Forster) - Everyone lives underground, each in one room, where the Machine controls and supports their life, until the Machine breaks down.

The Three Body Problem (Liu Cixin) - Young scientist foolishly sends a message to the universe, which reveals Earth's location to everyone else, causing problems when the Solarians threaten to invade.

And here's a famous - possibly infamous - movie: "A family's first Airbnb experience goes badly wrong".

And a well-known TV series: "Small man manipulates everyone to get his own way".

Meanwhile, here is today's quiz, using info from theodysseyonline.com. Identify the following plays of William Shakespeare from their TLDRs:
  • Some hooligans run away and end up getting their dream weddings.
  • A fully-grown, college-educated man mopes and whines like a child about his home life.
  • Identity theft runs rampant in a beach community.
  • A wife loses a hankie and also her life.
  • A small boy battles it out with an experienced weasel and nobody wins.
  • A bunch of royals get stuck on the most wicked awesome deserted island ever.
  • Some shady characters make a whole bunch of outdated law puns; also a woman clearly says no yet in a play full of lawyers no one brings up the issue of consent.
Anyone getting 7/7 is a genius - or at least a Shakespearean nerd.

Answers in one week - watch out for it!

Thursday, 3 September 2020

I'm puzzled

Two things happened yesterday.

One, I started a new puzzle


Can you guess what the picture is? There are clues.

Two, I received a surprise package from a shop in Whitstable. It is another puzzle!

The message card says "Happy puzzling!" and it reveals that it was sent by my co-grandparent Jane. Thank you, Jane!

The picture is Van Gogh's "Starry Night".

It's the usual 1,000 pieces and looks a real challenge, Almost as tricky as this

which I was given as a present some time ago by Jane and Trevor and which I have so far not mustered the courage to begin.

Let's see if I can complete these without ending with a piece missing!

Tuesday, 1 September 2020

Judge a man by his questions

...rather than by his answers. So said Voltaire.

Voltaire (1694-1778) was the nom de plume of François-Marie Arouet. His family apparently nicknamed him "Zozo"; you can see why he changed that. He took Voltaire after being imprisoned in the Bastille; the word has a convoluted genesis involving anagrams, which I won't bore you with. It seems a bit lubricious, frankly.

Anyway, to questions. Judge me by them.

Q. What animal has the biggest ears?

Photo by kyle smith on Unsplash

Q. Why has Elon Musk put a chip

Photo by JC Gellidon on Unsplashin a pig?

Q. Why is a botched job called a pig's ear?

Q. Who does Napoleon represent in Animal Farm?

Q. If Musk's pig now has a brain the size of a planet, why does she tolerate the name Gertrude?

Q. How many pigs does it take to change a light bulb?

Photo by Federico Bottos on Unsplash

Q. If it takes 120 days for a piglet to be born, would it take 240 days for piglet twins (piglins)?

Photo by Kenneth Schipper Vera on Unsplash

Q. Do pigs roll around in sand dunes in the desert?

Q. Can pigs see rainbows?

Photo by Alex Jackman on Unsplash

I'm not giving answers because Zozo would not be interested. It is not known whether he kept pigs.

Judge me.